Updated: August 20, 2015
Originally Published: April 20, 2015
Reaching the milestone of 40 can feel like a mixed bag. Some days, it’s just another year, and hey, it’s definitely better than the alternative—like, you know, not being here at all. So let’s dive into the seven phases of hitting the big 4-0…
- Shock/Disbelief. How has this happened? When did I transform into a mid-lifer? Weren’t I just in my 30s? Who are these kids? Did they really come from me? And what’s with this new body that feels suspiciously like my mom’s? Why am I bombarding myself with so many questions?
- Denial. No way! These can’t be my kids. I’m way too young to have given birth to them. But I guess the sagging skin, gray hairs, and less-than-perky parts might suggest otherwise. I’m still trendy, right? Do people still say “trendy”? Should I just stick with “cool”? What happened to my cute jeans and heels? Am I really running errands in pajamas?
- Anger. Enough already! I’m done with this nonsense. Time for a binge—bring on the wine and a marathon of classic John Hughes films! I can still do a cartwheel, and what 40-year-old can say that? Maybe I’ll even flirt with that guy who isn’t my husband—because, seriously, I’m too young for that!
- Bargaining. Someone please tell me this is a mistake! I can’t possibly be 40. Just give me a few more years, and I promise to volunteer more. I’ll take up running for dog charities or participate in some bizarre triathlon for senior cryogenic research. I just need more time!
- Guilt. How did I squander my time? Why didn’t I pursue a career? What have I achieved in the first half of my life? Is this truly mid-life, or is my lifespan shorter than I thought? I can’t believe I spent so long glued to the TV. Did I really watch every season of The Real World? That’s gotta be over ten days of my life! Ugh, where are my math skills when I need them?
- Depression. I’m feeling low—maybe it’s time for another drink or a day spent binging on Lifetime movies and the original 90210. They shouldn’t have even attempted a reboot! Those 20-somethings annoy me. Am I still considered a girl? Apparently, I’m a “woman” now. Is that girl cuter than me? I’m moody and sad; could I be pregnant or experiencing perimenopause?
- Acceptance and Hope. Actually, this isn’t terrible. Age is just a number, right? Sure, I have some belly flab and a few more veins than before, but we’ve all earned those! I’m going to embrace my flaws. Every woman I know looks like me—well, maybe not quite. Did I just say that? Sure, celebrities like Ava and Bella look fantastic, but they have teams behind them. I have my kids. They’re not exactly helping with my skincare or workout routine. But I can do push-ups—lots of them! This whole turning-40 thing? Piece of cake. Am I feeling a bit anxious? Maybe I’m just freaking out. No way am I really 40…
For more insights on parenthood, check out our post on at-home insemination kits.
In summary, turning 40 can evoke a rollercoaster of emotions, from disbelief and denial to acceptance and hope. While the journey may seem daunting, it’s essential to embrace this new chapter of life and all that comes with it.
Keyphrase: Seven Stages of Turning 40
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