“Mom, what’s prawnstitution?”
And thus began a pivotal conversation about sex, sparked by an episode of Futurama. At the age of 10, my son had previously skirted around any discussions that delved into explicit details. I still remember the time he asked my partner why Noah had to take two of every animal onto the ark. Upon learning it was to ensure the species survived, he quickly declared, “I don’t want to know the rest of this…”
But here we were, sharing a moment in front of the television (the ultimate bonding space), and I knew I had to take advantage of this opportunity. Who knows what the current health classes cover? I wanted to be proactive.
“Well, a prawn is a large shrimp. And prostitution is when people—usually women, but not always—engage in sexual acts for money, rather than out of affection.”
He mulled this over, and I encouraged him to ask me anything else he was curious about.
“Well … Max—just a name I made up; my son has no friends named Max—said something wild. He said that a penis gets really big and then goes INSIDE a vagina.”
Looks like Max is quite the expert! I confirmed that he was right.
“Really!” he exclaimed, sounding like someone who’d just learned a shocking fact about a friend who isn’t particularly bright but has done something impressive.
He had more questions. Although the traditional approach is for fathers to discuss these topics with sons and mothers with daughters, I wasn’t about to go hunting for my partner. We were in the middle of a great conversation, and I wanted to clarify any misunderstandings he might have. After all, it was Max—not health class—who was feeding him this crucial information. I wanted him to feel comfortable with whatever thoughts he had. I reassured him that it’s perfectly normal to think about sex often, to not think about it at all, to feel confused, intrigued, or even disinterested. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about it at his age.
With boys, there are those unexpected physical reactions that can happen, so I mentioned that too, explaining how seeing a pretty girl on screen, reading certain things in books, or even just nothing at all could trigger responses. I also touched on dreams, emphasizing how normal they are.
“Well, THAT’S a relief,” he said, appearing pleased but not quite making eye contact. We continued watching Futurama, with Zoidberg scuttling across the screen. After a pause, he asked, “So how often do people have sex?”
A great question, but a complex one. I explained that it varies from person to person, steering clear of the details about long-term relationships and how things evolve over time, especially in the initial stages of romance when sex is often frequent. I tried to keep it simple.
“So … do you and Dad have sex?”
“Um, yes. Yes, we do.”
“How often?”
It would have been easy to brush him off with a “that’s none of your business” response. I’m comfortable discussing sex in theory, but sharing personal details about my intimate life with him is a different matter.
“Um. Pretty often. You know, sometimes.”
“Like … when was the last time?”
Oh boy. But he wasn’t prying; he was seeking context. How often do people really engage in sex? I recalled my own curiosity when my mom explained periods to me. I was more interested in the specifics of the flow—was it like a dripping faucet or a waterfall? These details shape our understanding of the world.
“Um. A couple of days ago.”
“Really!” That same tone of surprise surfaced once again.
I directed the conversation back to him, and we enjoyed a moment of quiet.
“Just so you know, you can always talk to Dad about this, too.”
“I think I’m good talking to you.”
“OK.”
“Can we keep watching Futurama now?”
“Sure.”
And just like that, we had tackled the big subject—the birds and the bees talk.
Back in the ’70s, when I was a kid, there was a controversial book called Show Me that aimed to teach kids about sex in a rather graphic way. It horrified my siblings and me as we flipped through its pages. Banned in numerous places for being overly explicit, it took sex education into a very uncomfortable territory for children. I remember anxiously asking my mother when I would have to have sex, and she reassuringly replied that it wouldn’t happen until I truly wanted it to. “Good!” I said. “Then I’m never going to.” How things have changed!
Now, with my kids, I try to strike that delicate balance between showing them that sex is a normal and wonderful part of life while making it clear it’s not something they need to worry about just yet. In the back of my mind, I wonder if they’re asking others about it or if they’ll end up needing therapy because of their curiosity sparked by Futurama.
Who knows? We’re still figuring it out as we go along.
For more on parenting and topics like home insemination, check out this resource, which provides useful insights. For more information about pregnancy, Healthline offers an excellent resource as well.
In summary, navigating the sex talk with children can be challenging yet rewarding. It’s crucial to create an open environment for questions, providing clear and age-appropriate answers. While it can be daunting, embracing these conversations helps normalize discussions about sex and relationships, allowing children to grow into informed individuals.
Keyphrase: Talking about sex with kids
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]