I could hardly contain my excitement as I revisited ABC’s Afterschool Specials. It was as if a floodgate had opened; lines from the shows came rushing back to me, and I found myself reciting them at my computer. Growing up, my generation was treated to performances from icons like Anthony Kiedis, Vince Vaughn, Jodie Foster, and Leif Garrett as they tackled heavy subjects—bullying, addiction, sexual harassment, and family issues. These actors managed to maintain a certain coolness while delivering cringeworthy dialogue and navigating absurd plot twists that would leave even Susan Lucci impressed.
Blindfolded Understanding
Take the episode “Blind Sunday,” for instance. It follows a teenager named Jeff, who decides to spend a day blindfolded to better connect with his visually impaired girlfriend. Kudos for the thought, Jeff, but really, do you realize how silly you look? If she were aware, the tale might have ended with her shoving you into traffic!
Curiosity about Conception
Next up is “My Mom’s Having a Baby.” Here, a ten-year-old boy seeks clarity on how babies are made. That brought back memories of my own experience with my daughter, who once asked me the same thing at the age of eight. I was heavily pregnant with her younger brother at the time, and, naturally, I told her that I swallowed a magical bean and voilà—a baby! The reality? Well, let’s just say it involved a bar and not much time.
On the Brink of Adolescence
Following that was “Where Do Teenagers Come From?” This episode perfectly encapsulates the confusion of a 12-year-old girl grappling with the changes in her body. I could have used this episode weeks earlier when I handed my now 11-year-old daughter a towel post-shower and innocently remarked, “Oh look, you have hair down there now! How adorable!” She promptly bolted from the bathroom and didn’t speak to me for days.
Parenting via Egg
I was hooked and found myself downloading “The First Egg,” where a group of high schoolers has to take care of an egg as part of a parenting class. I can easily picture my daughter today, receiving her egg, accidentally dropping it, blaming her brother (who isn’t even there), and then retreating to binge-watch Netflix on her iPad.
Married Life in High School
Then came “Make Believe Marriage,” featuring high school students paired up to experience the drudgeries of married life. If only we had paid heed to this episode! “Honey, it’s a beautiful Saturday; let’s tackle grocery shopping and run some errands! Afterward, we can clean the house and fall asleep by 9 p.m. watching true crime shows.” Sounds romantic, right?
It’s worth noting that during the show’s run from 1972 to 1997, not a single episode addressed the lives of LGBTQ+ teens. Well done, ABC! Instead, they chose to devote an episode to a sad clown while ignoring a significant part of the teenage experience. I can just imagine poor Tom gliding on the ice, exclaiming, “You really think I care about my stutter?”
Hidden Truths
I wrapped up my viewing with “The Unforgivable Secret,” where a 15-year-old learns that her “deceased” father is still alive. This reminded me of my childhood dog, Pepi. I was told at seven that Pepi had run off to join a gang of neighborhood dogs. Years later, I learned the truth: my mom had put him to sleep. Now that’s unforgivable!
While I enjoyed this nostalgic trip, I think I’ll leave the rest of the episodes in the past—unless I’m feeling adventurous and want to reenact scenes from “Dinky Hocker,” a tale about a food-obsessed teen. Perhaps I should just keep those food references to myself!
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Summary
ABC’s Afterschool Specials brought back a wave of nostalgia as I revisited episodes filled with humor and touching moments. From blindfolded empathy to the awkwardness of adolescence, these shows tackled serious topics with a blend of absurdity and heart. As I strolled down memory lane, I reflected on the lessons learned and the quirks that defined my childhood experiences.
Keyphrase: ABC’s Afterschool Specials
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