At just 15 years old, my mother, Isabella “Bella” Ramirez, arrived in New York City from El Salvador. It was on the brink of the 1960s, and her father, a stylish tailor, was a rebel against a brutal regime. He led their escape, but the safety of their new home couldn’t erase the memories of growing up amidst civil chaos. My mother witnessed horrors that no child should endure, and she was resolute that this new country would offer a fresh start—not just for herself, but for her future children.
Being raised by a Latina Tiger Mom isn’t the easiest path. With her fierce spirit, we often clashed—especially since I inherited her stubbornness. In my twenties, she once declared, “I could never break you.” I took that as a compliment. Despite her formal education ending with a G.E.D. in her thirties, Bella was a master architect of success, equipping us to “suck the marrow out of life.”
A decade after her passing from colon cancer, I’m still working on a book filled with her life lessons. In the meantime, here’s a glimpse into some of the best advice she shared, as a heartfelt tribute to this powerhouse:
- “Are you an ‘A’ or a ‘B’?”
Report cards at our house left no room for anything but straight A’s. If I ever brought home a B, Mom would quip in her charming accent, “If ju think ju are a B, be a B. If ju think ju are an A, be an A.” She was teaching me a vital lesson about personal agency and self-belief. While I might not be as strict with my own daughter, the message resonates. - “Was there a gun to your head?!”
My grandfather, and my mother’s father, faced kidnapping and torture before making it to the U.S. His harrowing experiences provided my mother with a vivid arsenal of stories to remind me that we always have choices—even when they seem limited. This perspective empowers us to steer our own destinies. - “Speaking well isn’t exclusive to certain people.”
As a Latino family moving from the city to a quieter town, we faced the sting of being teased for “talking white.” Bella’s wisdom was more than just about assimilation; it was about rising above the low expectations set for us. We were capable of reaching for the stars. - “You’re your only competition.”
Mom despised any hint of jealousy I might express. She’d swiftly remind me, “You want that? Get it yourself.” She believed that comparing ourselves to others was futile because the only thing we could change was ourselves. This mantra has kept me focused since middle school. - “Everything is temporary.”
My impatient mother often reminded me of the power of time whenever I felt overwhelmed: “You think I got here in one day?!” Her insights taught me patience and resilience. - “So what if you scrub toilets?”
Bella instilled in us the dignity of all work. She made it clear that no job was beneath us, and every role, no matter how humble, was a step towards our aspirations. - “You never know who your boss might be someday.”
As I began my career, Bella’s advice was invaluable. She prompted me to treat everyone with respect, reminding me that we’re all just a few steps apart in life. This philosophy has stuck with me; people remember how you treat them. - “You never know who is watching.”
While I embrace feminism and understand that grooming isn’t for everyone, we were raised to present our best selves. Bella believed in the strength of traditional femininity, empowering us to face bias head-on. - “Your education is yours forever.”
Growing up amidst turmoil, my mother believed that education, once obtained, could never be taken away. Material things come and go, but knowledge is a permanent asset. - “You want to know what happens when you do that?”
Bella’s stories—ranging from childhood mishaps to harrowing tales from her homeland—instilled in me a deep respect for life’s fragility. They served as reminders of my privilege and the luck of my upbringing.
From these lessons, it’s clear that my mother’s fierce love and wisdom shaped who I am today. If you’re on a journey similar to mine, exploring paths like home insemination, you can find more insights here.
In summary, the wisdom I’ve inherited from my mother continues to guide me through the complexities of life. Her lessons about self-worth, resilience, and the importance of education remain with me, shaping my approach to motherhood and beyond.
Keyphrase: Latina parenting advice
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