What do Gwyneth Paltrow and I have in common? We both relish the delightful experience of swishing around a mouthful of hard coconut oil. Yes, you heard that right—the GOOP queen herself endorses this practice, and I’m hopping on board! Oil pulling—this trendy yet ancient method involves swishing oil in your mouth for 10 to 20 minutes each morning before breakfast—has taken over my social media feeds. It’s the new neti pot, a fad everyone seems to be talking about. Back in the ’80s, only those living in ashrams knew about neti pots. But just the other day, while sharing lunch with my 87-year-old Great Aunt Bertha, she noticed I had a cold and exclaimed between bites of her corned beef sandwich, “Have you tried using a neti pot? It’s miraculous!” And then she offered to demonstrate.
Twenty minutes, you say? That’s practically half an episode of Mad Men! Who has that kind of time? A quick Google search reveals thousands of articles on oil pulling, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m late to the party. I spend the day devouring article after article, but they all seem to be recycling the same celebrity testimonials and consulting local dentists who are likely just Googling the topic themselves.
In my research, I came across Dr. Marc Lowenberg, a high-profile cosmetic dentist in New York City. He touts oil pulling and has treated the likes of Russell Simmons and Heidi Klum. He explains, “The toxins in your body are fat-soluble, so they bond with the oil and are expelled when you spit it out. Given how much plaque builds up in the mouth, a reduction makes sense.”
Even young star Shailene Woodley is a fan, though she prefers sesame oil over Gwyneth’s coconut oil. It seems we might have an oil rivalry brewing. I trust Gwyneth—who wouldn’t?—but I’d like to hear from some real experts. Some articles credit Dr. F. Karach, M.D. for reintroducing this ancient practice when he presented a paper on it in 1992 to a group of oncologists and bacteriologists in the USSR. Dr. Karach believes humans are only living half their potential lifespan, which could reach up to 150 years!
Supporters of oil pulling claim it dates back to the ancient Ayurvedic text, the Charaka Samhita, from 700 BC, suggesting it could enhance facial firmness, jaw strength, and even taste sensations. Reports from India in 1996 began linking oil pulling to various health benefits, from pain relief to improved skin clarity. In fact, a survey showed that 89% of respondents experienced benefits like clearer skin and better digestion. Could this help with my chronic lower back pain?
But then again, skeptics on sites like snopes.com argue that those benefits may be exaggerated. The only way to know for sure is to give it a try.
My Oil Pulling Journey
Day 1:
I’m advised to swish the oil on an empty stomach. I wake up early, scoop out a tablespoon of coconut oil, and let it melt into a liquid. Initially, I’m restless and unsure how to pass the time. After 10 minutes, my son Sam wakes up, and I quickly spit into the compost bin (you can’t spit in the sink—it may clog!). My mouth feels refreshingly clean, and I can’t stop running my tongue over my remarkably smooth teeth.
Day 2:
I wake in the middle of the night and decide to swish again before heading back to bed. My breath feels fresh in the morning, and flossing is a breeze.
Day 3:
Today, my two boys are up and about, and surprisingly, they find my oil-pulling antics amusing. I’m starting to feel that my teeth are less smooth—maybe it’s just getting used to it? After my shower, I catch a glimpse in the mirror and, oddly enough, my skin appears clearer. My lower back, however, is acting up today—could it be a detox response?
Day 4:
After another vigorous swishing session, I find myself in unexpectedly high spirits. At lunch, my teeth feel less sensitive after eating sauerkraut, and my gums are noticeably healthier.
Day 5:
The real test arises when I indulge in a few shots of whiskey while binging on the HBO series Deadwood. I wake up feeling queasy, and the idea of swishing oil is less than appealing. But lo and behold, after oil pulling, my hangover vanishes. Just like that, I’m back to life!
Day 6:
My youngest, Leo, has been sick, and after a series of sneezes and kisses, I wake up with the telltale scratchy throat. But fear not! Fifteen minutes of oil pulling, and I feel like a new man. Can I get a cheer for coconut oil?
After a week of oil pulling, I’m inclined to keep going. But I have to consider a few things: my wife, Jane, is less than thrilled about my new morning routine and the frothy oil mess in the trash might not be boosting our intimacy. Plus, if I live to 150, I’d miss out on precious family time. Is it really worth it?
In summary, after attempting to GOOP like Gwyneth, I discovered that oil pulling can offer some surprising benefits—fresh breath, healthier gums, and even hangover cures. However, the time commitment and potential marital strife may make you think twice before diving into this trend.
Keyphrase: Dad Tries Oil Pulling
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