When I announced my pregnancy at 42, one friend couldn’t help but ask if the specialist I was seeing had given me the green light to actually conceive. She seemed shocked. “But I thought you were 35! You look older!” she exclaimed.
“I am! And if Halle Berry can have a baby at 46, then I can certainly manage it at my age,” I replied, trying to keep the mood light.
While there were many lovely comments and encouraging questions throughout my pregnancy—coming a decade after my first child was born with my partner—there were also a slew of awkward, intrusive, and downright silly remarks. I often found myself responding with polite smiles and nods while silently wishing for a sudden emergency call from my silent phone, just to escape yet another round of prying questions.
Truth be told, I hadn’t set out to become a mom again at 42, but embracing this new journey felt right; the idea of not expanding our family was far more disheartening. Yet, people rarely want to hear the nuanced thoughts behind such a big decision, especially when it doesn’t fit into their timelines, nor did they appreciate my more candid responses. Here’s how I handled—or wished I could handle—the most annoying inquiries while pregnant over 40.
How did this happen?
“Just like you and I were conceived, over a bottle of wine and a bit of fun.” Classic methods never go out of style!
You got pregnant without fertility treatments?
This intrusive question often came from medical staff, friends, and random acquaintances. The orange “ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE” sticker on my file clearly raised eyebrows. First, it’s none of your business. Second, let’s focus on how fabulous I look. And third, could you just compliment me instead?
Are you more tired than you were in your 30s?
Absolutely! This was true even before I became pregnant. I often felt like I was ready for bed by 2:30 in the afternoon. But hey, I’m also wiser, more financially stable, and in a loving relationship. Sure, sleep deprivation hits harder now than it did at 32, but I’ll take that over being in my 50s, right?
This must be your last child, right?
“Maybe. Probably. I’m not really sure.” Thanks for the concern, Mom. I appreciate your worry about my body’s capabilities, but let’s keep the focus on me finding my teeth first!
You’ll be HOW OLD when she’s in college?
“Oh, this is my second child. We’re planning a commune lifestyle in Punta Cana instead of college anyway!” No one in the Caribbean cares about my age.
Are you getting married?
The beauty of having a child out of wedlock at this age is that the answer is simply “nope.”
What does your mother think?
She thinks I should have a quiet life. Just kidding—she’s thrilled! She can’t wait to spoil another grandchild and is already planning on buying cute outfits from the clearance rack.
You know a lot has changed since your last baby, right?
“Of course! Electricity, smartphones, and a ton of new gadgets have arrived.” But parenting at its core hasn’t changed much over the years. Thanks for your unsolicited concern!
Are you worried people will think you’re her grandmother?
“Honestly, I’d be more concerned they think I’m her sister—leading her astray!” If I get mistaken for being elderly, I’ll just let the tabloids know about the oldest living breastfeeder!
Wow. Great?
“Yes! I’m creating a brain inside my body! Please raise a glass to the miracle of life and don’t suggest baby names unless you want to hear my list!”
In conclusion, while navigating pregnancy over 40 comes with its own set of challenges, it also brings an opportunity for joy, growth, and a few snarky comebacks. If you’re considering expanding your family, check out this in-depth resource on artificial insemination and consider tools from this site to assist in your journey, like the Babymaker home intracervical insemination syringe kit, a great option for those going the at-home route.
Keyphrase: Pregnancy over 40
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”