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Please, Not Now!
This stage kicks off with the first contraction and lasts until you’re enjoying at least five uninterrupted hours of sleep. Between diaper changes, postpartum bleeding, and those oh-so-glamorous disposable underwear, it’s hard to remember that intimacy is what brought you here in the first place. Of course, your partner may find those flimsy undergarments oddly enticing and may make some moves. If that happens, just whip out some graphic birth photos — that should effectively extinguish any lingering desire! -
The Workload is Overwhelming
Around the six-month mark, the thought of rekindling intimacy might begin to seem like a distant possibility. You recall the fun and excitement, but right now, even brushing your teeth feels like a monumental effort after countless sleepless nights. Your partner may be eagerly anticipating a return to romance, but before you jump back in, consider revisiting those birth photos or gifting him a subscription to an adult site. Sure, it’s a bit controversial, but anything to keep him from trying to initiate something while you’re half-asleep is a win. -
Let’s Give It a Shot
Your baby is finally sleeping through the night, you’ve rediscovered the joy of a good shower, and you’re adjusting to your new body. Feeling adventurous, you shave your legs, pour a glass of wine, and prepare for a romantic evening. Just when you think you’re ready, you’re reminded that your lactating breasts can create quite the surprise — nothing kills the mood quite like a breast milk fountain! You both decide to take it slow and try again later, perhaps with a little more wine and a Tylenol. -
Reconnecting with Old Flames
You’ve adapted to parenthood and established a routine. Your child is napping regularly and sleeping through the night, giving you and your partner some much-needed alone time. After a few successful attempts at intimacy, your body starts feeling more like your own again, and you might even have stopped breastfeeding. Suddenly, intimacy feels amazing again! You can’t believe you let so many months pass by without enjoying it. -
Why Not Have Another?
Once you’ve settled into a routine and have enjoyed a couple of margaritas, the idea of adding another baby sounds like a brilliant plan. After all, wouldn’t it be lovely to expand your family? Plus, you get to have more intimate moments. Don’t worry, you tell yourself, the second baby will be a breeze. So, let’s get to it — take off your pants!
Remember, while intimacy is wonderful, so is a good night’s sleep. Always consider using protection!
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Summary
Navigating intimacy after having a baby can be a rollercoaster ride. From initial aversion to eventually rekindling the spark, each stage presents its unique challenges and humorous moments. Remember to take things slow and communicate openly with your partner.
Keyphrase: intimacy after baby
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