Parenting
When Playdates Take a Turn
by Jamie Collins
Updated: Dec. 20, 2015
Originally Published: March 31, 2015
“Hey, would Ava like to come over for a playdate?” the mom asked.
“Sure! That sounds great,” I replied.
“Just have her bring her swimsuit,” she added.
“Wait, what?” I thought. A swimsuit? Ava was only 7, and the thought of her swimming at a stranger’s house without me made my heart race. I barely knew this woman. Sure, she was friendly during school pickup, but that was about it. She was well-dressed and always on her iPhone while waiting for her daughter, but I didn’t know much beyond that. A knot tightened in my stomach. Was it parental instinct or just overthinking? Either way, something felt off. Ava had only been swimming for two years, and she hadn’t been in the water since last summer.
Before I could fully process my feelings, we were on our way to the friend’s house. Maybe I should hide in the bushes, I thought. But as we pulled into the driveway, I decided to stay. At least for this first playdate—no way was I letting anything happen on my watch. So I “dropped off” Ava but never left. It might have seemed rude, but I couldn’t shake my discomfort.
This experience highlighted how nerve-wracking it can be to leave your child in someone else’s care. Trusting a near stranger with Ava was daunting. Most playdates go smoothly, but sometimes things can go awry. Here’s a rundown of some chaotic playdates my daughter has had.
The Poop Chronicles
Look, predicting a child’s bathroom needs is tricky, but come on! One time, a 3-year-old girl visiting our home urgently needed the bathroom. She explained she had to go at home but her mom didn’t want them to be late for the playdate. Luckily, I was off the hook—Ava’s mom, Lisa, had to handle it. After 20 minutes on the toilet, Lisa reported that the outcome was the size of a softball. Even she wasn’t sure how that could come from such a small child!
Home Depot Babysitting Gone Wrong
When Ava was 7, we picked her up from a friend’s house, and she seemed a bit shaken. Naturally, we asked why. Apparently, Nancy’s mom and her boyfriend had decided to run to Home Depot, leaving Nancy’s older brother in charge. Yeah, that didn’t sit well with us, and Ava never went back to Nancy’s place again.
No Booster Seat?
One day in third grade, an impromptu playdate happened at pickup with Ava’s friend. I’d never met this mom before, but she was at every event, clipboard in hand. I figured she was responsible. “My daughter’s booster seat is over in the other parking lot,” I mentioned. “Let me grab it.” “No, no, it’s fine,” she insisted. “We have an extra one.” Cool, I thought, and gave her my number in case of any issues. I didn’t receive any calls, but once Ava got home, she informed me, “No booster.”
Expensive Taste
“Hey, girls,” I said to Ava and her 4-year-old friend. “Want to go outside and play?” “Sure,” her friend replied, “but I have to wear Ava’s clothes because this dress cost $95.” Seriously? First of all, don’t send your kid in pricey clothes if you’re worried about dirt. Secondly, it felt like she had been coached to say that. Of course, I gave her some spare clothes, but I was tempted to push her into a puddle—just kidding!
But It’s Only 10 a.m.!
When Ava was in preschool, Lisa took her for an early playdate. Once inside, the other mom offered Lisa a beer. “It’s 10 a.m.,” Lisa said incredulously. The other mother didn’t grasp the situation. I have to be careful here, as I understand struggles with addiction; but if you’re facing those challenges, hosting playdates probably isn’t the best idea.
Where Are the Dolls?
After a particularly long playdate when Ava was 6, all her dolls went missing. Lisa and Ava searched high and low, suspecting that Nancy’s little girl might have taken them. But how could she sneak them past us? Days later, we found all ten Barbies behind a chair in Ava’s room, but their heads were severed off. We never saw that little girl again.
In summary, while most playdates are harmless fun, some can lead to chaotic or concerning situations. Always trust your instincts as a parent and ensure your child is safe and comfortable.