Motherhood can be an overwhelming experience. You’re constantly on duty, perpetually sleep-deprived, and vacations often turn into exhausting family escapades. It’s no surprise that the thought of pouring a glass of wine can be tempting. But to keep things in check, I’ve developed some rules to help determine when it’s time to indulge.
Consider reaching for that glass if:
- Your total nap time, divided by the number of kiddos under five, adds up to less than an hour.
- You’ve adhered to the Poop Rule of Twos: in any given hour, you’ve either (1) touched poop for at least two minutes; (2) chatted about poop for four minutes; or (3) pondered the subject for eight minutes.
- Your child has needed a timeout so severe that you had to physically hold the door shut to keep them in there. Actually, just having a timeout counts.
- It’s a snow day or sick day. This applies to a light drizzle or even just a sniffle. Just remember, a trip to the ER definitely merits wine for the week!
- The word “Mommy!” has been called at least 27 times in the past half-hour.
- You’re in the middle of preparing dinner. Quesadillas, mac & cheese, or even cheese sticks count here.
- You’ve had to go to work today. Working remotely definitely counts, and yes, being a stay-at-home parent qualifies as working from home.
- You’re unloading the dishwasher and can’t muster the energy to put the wine glasses away.
- You find yourself in need of corks for a crafty endeavor.
- You’re searching for inspiration for a cork craft project.
- An open bottle of wine is already sitting on the counter waiting for you. Or you accidentally left one unopened from last night.
- It’s past 5 p.m. in a major city within five time zones from you. Weekends mean you can relax a bit more—especially if your drink has bubbles.
These guidelines have worked wonders for me, and I hope they bring you some laughter and relief as well. For those interested in starting a family or learning more about the journey of home insemination, check out this article on home insemination kits and for a comprehensive understanding of fertility, visit CDC’s pregnancy resource.
In conclusion, being a parent is no easy feat, and sometimes a little indulgence is just what you need to unwind.
Keyphrase: signs it’s time for wine
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