To my cherished firstborn,
I owe you a heartfelt apology for the countless hours I spent obsessing over your sleep schedule. Looking back, some of my most regrettable moments as a parent were those times I battled you over naps during your first few years. I raised my voice, succumbed to frustration, and even let you cry while I lost my cool. I convinced myself that sleep was non-negotiable, but what you truly needed was a calm and loving mom, not a frazzled one yelling at you to sleep. For that, I am genuinely sorry.
I regret that you spent so much time surrounded by adults. Being an only child myself, with your dad’s family living far away, meant that there weren’t many cousins for you to play with. I was still figuring out how to connect with other moms, and as a result, you became the center of adult conversation. Sometimes, I wonder if that seriousness comes from too much adult influence in your early years. While the world needs responsible firstborns, I worry that I may have taken away some of the carefree joy of childhood from you.
I also apologize for the bland baby food I fed you. Even if it was homemade, your little brother dove into more exciting flavors right from the start, while you were stuck with unseasoned sweet potatoes and peas. I sincerely hope that you learn to embrace a more adventurous palate as you grow older, and that someday you’ll shake off any lingering fear of spice.
I’m sorry for dragging you to every baby class or activity I could find before you could even sit up. Honestly, I was just looking for adult interaction, and you were my perfect excuse.
Regarding discipline, I regret the overzealous methods we employed. We spanked, we shouted, and dished out far too many timeouts. Your dad and I were novices, still learning the nuances of parenting. You bore the brunt of our inexperience, and for that, I am deeply sorry.
I know you still carry the weight of our learning curve. You’re the one we’re figuring out homework, curfews, and college applications with, and while I’ve tried to relax my expectations, I still feel that pressure to get everything right with you. This is partly because I want to make up for the mistakes I made when you were little. You gave me the greatest gift of all—you made me a mom. In the most profound way, YOU are my baby.
That’s a lot to put on one child, and for that, I apologize. Thankfully, your siblings have shared the load.
With all my love,
Mom
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Summary
This heartfelt apology letter to a firstborn child reflects on the challenges and mistakes of early parenting, from sleep schedules to bland baby food. The author expresses regret for the burdens placed on their firstborn, recognizing the learning curve that comes with being a parent and the weight of expectations that linger.
Keyphrase
Apology to firstborn child
Tags
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