If I had to sum up my perspective on parenting before stepping into motherhood, the word “oblivious” would fit perfectly. At the time I found out I was expecting, I had a nine-month-old niece whose diaper changes I found amusing—until it was time to hand her back when she fussed.
As I prepared for my growing family, I underestimated several aspects of motherhood, starting with how long the journey to pregnancy would take. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. Here are some of the key lessons I learned.
1. The True Meaning of Exhaustion
Have you ever felt the kind of bone-deep fatigue that accompanies the first couple of years of your child’s life? And then, you add another child into the mix! “Exhaustion” doesn’t even begin to describe it—I’m practically a walking zombie! Before kids, being tired meant recovering from a wild night out or cramming for finals. A solid 12-14 hours of sleep could remedy that. Now? That kind of rest feels like a distant memory.
2. Cherishing “Nice Things”
Let’s be honest: I’ve never really owned anything “nice.” I met my partner in college, and before I could snag a well-paying job, we were engaged and expecting a baby just three months after our wedding. Now that the kids are here, the financial demands are astronomical! The few nice items I managed to buy have become targets for spills, messes, and sticky little fingers. Maybe in another decade…
3. The Disgusting Truth About Backwash
Before parenting, I never considered how similar sharing a drink with my toddler was to a mama bird feeding her chick. Now? I won’t touch a drink shared with anyone under four! It’s not just the germs; it’s the fact that they can’t handle a straw without mixing in their last meal. I’d rather stay thirsty than sip from a cup that’s been flavored with peanut butter and jelly!
4. The New Definition of “Lazy Days”
Once upon a time, lazy days meant lounging on the couch with my partner, watching an endless stream of movies interspersed with cozy cuddles. Nowadays, “lazy days” are spent at home—because I’m too worn out to take my kids out in public! We stay in our pajamas, the kids run wild, and my partner and I exchange weary looks as we order pizza to cope with our exhaustion.
5. The Magic of a Cardboard Box
Do I even need to explain? It’s both amusing and painful to fill out birthday invites knowing the influx of toys will likely be played with only once before they end up in the donation pile. Cardboard is the true MVP—consider it a jungle gym, race car, fort, or any imaginary plaything for the first few years. I used to store items in them, what a waste!
6. The Concept of “Self-Care”
Before kids, bi-weekly manicures and pedicures were routine. Long, relaxing showers? A given! Now, it’s a challenge just to find time to shower, let alone shave. My $130 haircuts have turned into a desperate attempt to maintain my ombre look. Saturdays are now filled with soccer practices and budget meetings where my partner lovingly reminds me that my pre-baby self-care routines are a luxury of the past.
7. Understanding “Inconvenience”
In my pre-baby world, inconveniences meant scheduling conflicts or traffic detours. Little did I know how much my life would shift once my children arrived. It now means dealing with postpartum recovery while constantly caring for little ones, or eating dinner at nearly midnight because your child prefers your meal over theirs. Life revolves around their needs, and my priorities come last—if they make the list at all!
This article originally appeared on March 3, 2015, but the realities of motherhood remain timeless.
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Summary
Motherhood is filled with surprises, from understanding true exhaustion to redefining self-care. The joys and challenges come at every turn, teaching you to appreciate the little things — like cardboard boxes and lazy days at home with your kids.
Keyphrase: motherhood surprises
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