If you’re new to New England, here are some unmistakable signs that you’re in way over your head:
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You’ve spent more time cooped up at home than at work or school since January. Between snow days and catching the flu from your kids, you’ve become best friends with your couch. You’re out of tissues and have resorted to using crumpled pages from a home improvement magazine to wipe your nose.
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Your car has been a victim of the weather. Whether it’s getting stuck in a snowbank, hitting a pothole that blew out a tire, or dealing with the frustration of other drivers who seem utterly clueless about winter driving, you’ve faced your share of automotive woes this season.
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Personal hygiene? What’s that? With your car buried under a mountain of snow, venturing outside seems like a Herculean task. Why change out of pajamas or brush your teeth? After all, you convince yourself that all those extra layers of funk will keep you warm. Spoiler alert: they don’t, and you might want to consider a shower.
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Alcohol consumption has become your go-to pastime. With nothing else on the agenda, you’ve binged every show on your streaming service. Your eyes are bloodshot from endless scrolling on social media, where you’ve been venting about the weather. You’ve polished off the good stuff and are now down to that mystery bottle of crème de menthe, which you might even use as mouthwash.
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You’ve taken up excessive snacking. Don’t worry if your jeans are feeling snug; you’ve been living in a cozy sweatshirt and baggy pajama bottoms. Cooking and baking have become your primary hobbies, as you seek warmth and comfort in food and the heat of the oven.
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Your trip to the hardware store was a flop. Even if you successfully cleared your car of snow and dodged potholed streets, trying to find a space heater or rock salt was a lost cause. If it’s not available on Amazon Prime, you’ve resigned yourself to doing without.
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Trash day is a distant memory. Pickup schedules are non-existent, and when the truck does finally come, good luck navigating the snowbanks to get your trash cans to the curb. Now your porch resembles a recycling center, filled with empty bottles and boxes.
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Parenting has gone out the window. You’ve exhausted every indoor activity, and now your toddler’s idea of fun is shaking a Tupperware filled with popcorn kernels. On your worst days, you’ll find yourself curled up, letting your child binge-watch eight hours of cartoons while you question your life choices.
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Social interaction? Forget it. You’ve canceled all appointments and turned down invitations unless they come with guaranteed off-street parking. When you do see someone, you might just hug them and break down in tears. Even the delivery drivers are starting to fear your emotional outbursts.
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You don’t mind the flooding when the snow finally starts to melt. Sure, the water in your basement is a hassle, and you’ve got leaks coming from the roof, but you comfort yourself with the thought that, like you, your house is just expressing its overwhelming joy at the change of seasons.
This article was originally published on March 1, 2015.
For more insights on navigating life at home, especially in challenging times, check out our post on the Cryobaby at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re interested in fertility resources, this site is an authority on the subject. The CDC also provides excellent information regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
New England winters can be brutal, and locals know the struggles of excessive snow. From battling car troubles and hygiene struggles to dealing with the chaos of parenting indoors, the unique challenges faced during these snowy months create a shared experience for those who live in the region.
Keyphrase: New England winter struggles
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