Trying to conceive can be an arduous journey fraught with emotional turmoil. I’ve shared my thoughts on the challenges of infertility before, but today, let’s focus on one silver lining that comes with the struggle: the sheer delight of not stressing about birth control. Seriously, it’s liberating!
Switching gears from desperately trying to conceive to dodging pregnancy feels bizarre and takes some adjustment. When my midwife suggested I try a diaphragm, I thought, “How vintage! Why not?” In hindsight, that fitting probably wasn’t the best choice for me, but sometimes I impulsively jump into things without considering my own comfort level. This was definitely a moment where knowing myself would have paid off.
Now, let me confess something a bit silly: I have this irrational fear that I’ll somehow get a foreign object stuck inside me, leading to an embarrassing trip to the ER, where I envision a doctor in a hard hat. I know logically that my anatomy isn’t a black hole, but years of hearing horror stories have left me a bit paranoid. For instance, one friend discovered she had unknowingly left a tampon inside for months! She was living her life, completely unaware of this hidden “guest.” And then there are the never-ending accounts of frantic boyfriends searching for condoms that went rogue during intimate moments. Combined with my own tendency toward anxiety, it’s safe to say that I’m not the biggest fan of inserting things into my lady parts. Spoiler: diaphragms require a bit of lodging.
Back to my midwife’s pitch about the diaphragm. I casually agreed to let her assistant and a nursing student observe my fitting. In retrospect, that should have been a “no way” moment. I pictured the typical gynecological exam—lying back, making small talk, and avoiding any major drama. Instead, I found myself as the star of a very awkward fitting session.
The diaphragm resembled an oversized balloon with a firm rim. When the midwife demonstrated how to insert it, I barely felt it slip away. However, panic soon set in when I realized I had to take it out myself! She assured me I could do it, and I was suddenly acutely aware that three pairs of eyes were watching my every move. I imagined the notes they were taking: “Patient sweating profusely. Paper drape slipping. Confusion levels rising.”
After a few futile attempts, the midwife guided me onto the examination table, where she effortlessly retrieved the diaphragm. I was mortified—why did she put it back in? I wanted it out! This little exchange turned into a comedy of errors, repeating itself several times. After 45 minutes of this, I was convinced I would never use this as a birth control method. My mind was racing with thoughts that this device would somehow travel to my stomach. Yes, I know that’s not anatomically feasible, but the panic was real.
Every 10 days or so, I received a reminder from the pharmacy about picking up my diaphragm. My response was always the same: “No thanks!”
For those venturing into the world of home insemination, you might find useful resources like this article on artificial insemination kits or check out Cleveland Clinic for more insights on intrauterine insemination.
In summary, while the transition from trying to conceive to navigating birth control can be daunting, it’s essential to know your comfort levels and preferences to avoid unnecessary anxiety.