In recent times, I’ve stumbled upon a plethora of articles outlining “what new moms really need.” Most of these posts feature beautifully arranged care packages filled with everything from soothing creams to charming keepsakes of baby milestones. However, as someone who welcomed a little one into the world (okay, it was a year ago, but still), I can’t help but feel a bit misrepresented.
When my daughter was born, I wasn’t interested in any of that stuff, and by the time she arrived, I had already stocked up on essentials during the endless final weeks of my pregnancy. So if you’re planning to visit a new mom, here are some commandments you should keep in mind. She might not voice them, but they’re exactly what she needs and more.
- Thou Shalt Bring Nourishment. If I’m one of those fortunate moms with a community rallying around me to deliver meals, that’s fantastic! But don’t think you’re off the hook; I’m still ravenous. I just finished a marathon of labor and the exhaustion is only beginning. Bring breakfast, lunch, or even snacks. Don’t assume I’m on a diet.
- Thou Shalt Compliment My Appearance. I know I might resemble a sleep-deprived zombie. Please, lie to me and tell me I glow. You’ll need to dig deep, as I’m well aware of how I look. Your kind words can help lift the cloud of self-doubt as I navigate my new reality.
- Thou Shalt Entertain My Other Children. There’s nothing quite as nerve-wracking as watching my energetic toddler approach my delicate newborn. They mean well, but let’s be honest—they’re like walking germ factories. I love them dearly, but I’d appreciate it if you could take them out for a bit so I can savor the peace and the sweet smell of my new baby.
- Thou Shalt Clean Without Asking. Don’t wait for my cue; just jump in and help. Wash the dishes, tidy up, or even dust a little. Just steer clear of the laundry—you don’t need to delve into my unmentionables!
- Thou Shalt Let Me Lead the Conversation About My Birth Story. I might be eager to share my heroic tale or completely over it. A simple, “How did it go?” will suffice. If I’m ready to narrate the saga, prepare to be amazed. If I change the topic, follow my lead.
- Thou Shalt Not One-Up My Birth Experience. I don’t care if your neighbor’s cousin had a more dramatic delivery. Today, my story is the highlight. Birth is tough, and if I choose to recount my tale, let it be the focus of the conversation.
- Thou Shalt Not Judge My Birth Decisions. I may assume you’re judging me for my choices, even if you’re not. If I had a C-section and you had a natural birth, I might think you’re silently critiquing my choices. Please reassure me with your kindness and support instead of your presumed judgment.
- Thou Shalt Not Critique My Parenting Choices. Visitors rarely come to critique, but we new moms are on high alert for any sign of disapproval. Unless my baby is in imminent danger, our choices are our own, so keep any negative reactions to yourself.
- Thou Shalt Share Advice Only When Requested. You might have years of experience, but unless I ask for your wisdom, I’m the expert on my baby. Offering unsolicited advice can lead to feelings of incompetence.
- Thou Shalt Respect My Time and Space. I’ll determine when I’m ready to resume normal life. If you think I’ll bounce back in two weeks, you clearly haven’t experienced motherhood. The first year is a whirlwind of beauty and chaos, and moms deserve your ongoing support and patience.
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In summary, if you’re visiting a new mom, remember these commandments to make her transition smoother. Bring food, offer compliments, help with her older kids, and be respectful of her choices. Your support is invaluable during this challenging yet beautiful time.
Keyphrase: Visiting New Moms Tips
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