My 8-month-old used to be a champion sleeper until a pesky cold turned our world upside down. Now, I can’t tell where one day ends and another begins. Sleep deprivation has led me to utter some rather absurd phrases to my little one. Here’s hoping she’ll forgive me someday.
- Hands off my face! We’ve been at this for over an hour, and we’re not exactly pals.
- I’m changing your smelly diaper right now, but I should be the one crying.
- Quit flapping your arms, you little bird!
- This is why Daddy wants to take a long drive into the ocean.
- Ugh… remember this when you’re a teenager.
- Stop gnawing on me! You’re like a little wild animal!
- If you don’t stop kicking your legs, I might just grab some duct tape!
- Do you see anyone else laughing? It’s like you’re on something. I could use some of that!
- Normal people don’t smear boogers on their faces. Seriously, you’re the worst roommate ever.
- Please don’t suck there. That’s really not how I’m built!
- You were asleep!! Just a moment ago, you were out cold!!
- That silly pacifier stays in your mouth, no matter what!
- Your diaper smells like apricots. What on earth is happening?
- This is why you have no friends yet.
- I snuggle you, and you push me away. I set you down, and you cry. It’s like trying to solve a riddle!
- Just tell me what you want! Not everything is a secret, you know.
- Stop being adorable. No one is cute right now! Just go to sleep already.
- Why are you smiling? Now I’m smiling too. I’m not sure how I feel about us both smiling.
If you’re enjoying this humorous take on parenting, you might want to check out our post on at-home insemination kits for more insights into starting a family. Resources like Healthline’s guide on IUI can also be incredibly helpful for those exploring pregnancy options.
In summary, parenting can lead to some pretty funny and chaotic moments, especially during those sleepless nights. Embracing the craziness can make the journey more enjoyable, even if you sometimes find yourself saying the most outrageous things.
Keyphrase: Crazy things said while up with the baby
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