In the realm of parenting, encountering a high maintenance child can feel like navigating a minefield. Let’s take a moment to reflect on a dinner I had with friends, Mark and Sarah. They’re grounded folks; Mark is a doctor and Sarah runs a publishing house. Their parenting style is refreshingly straightforward: get outside, explore nature, and let kids be kids. They have two children who ride bikes, enjoy meals without fuss, and are polite to boot.
One evening, over dinner, Mark shared an amusing incident involving their son, Ethan, who had invited a friend over for a playdate. Upon arriving, the friend complimented their “adorable” home and inquired, “Is this all of it?” When they stepped inside, the friend asked, “Where’s the playroom?” To which Ethan replied, “I don’t have a playroom.” The friend, puzzled, asked, “Then where do you play?” Ethan answered confidently, “In my room.”
As the evening unfolded, the friend’s expectations became hilariously apparent when he asked if they were having Kobe beef for dinner. Mark replied, “Nope, just Costco ground chuck.” At that moment, I realized how quickly a child can end up on the “High Maintenance Child List” (HMCL) by simply being demanding or rude.
With this in mind, I’ve created a questionnaire to help ensure that playdates are enjoyable for everyone involved. Please complete the following sections to help us prepare:
Eating Preferences:
- a) Vegan
- b) Gluten-free
- c) Gluten and sugar-free
- d) Dairy and gluten-free, but okay with meat
- e) Nut-free, dairy-free, gluten okay
- f) Will eat anything as long as it doesn’t touch
- g) Only drinks soda, even if we don’t have any
- h) Eats only colorless foods with no sauces
Sleepover Considerations:
- a) Your child wakes up at 5 AM and requires a full breakfast and entertainment. I should be ready with a clown suit and griddle!
- b) Your child needs back rubs to fall asleep. I may need to refine my massage techniques for this.
- c) Your child is such a health nut that pizza could cause a late-night catastrophe.
- d) Your child has never slept in their own bed and may visit me at midnight.
Pet Policies:
- a) Allergic to cats but fine with dogs
- b) Loves cats but fears dogs
- c) Allergic to both, please board all pets
- d) Requires an air filter installed prior to the playdate
Playtime Preferences:
- a) Legos without sets—creativity thrives without instructions
- b) Legos with a complete set; no missing pieces allowed
- c) American Girl Dolls with all the accessories
- d) Any toy as long as it’s not made in China
Viewing Options:
- a) Your child can handle PG-13 as long as there’s no bad language or sexual content
- b) No violence or strong language, but some innuendo is okay
- c) No screen time at all; it may lower their IQ
- d) Your child can watch anything; they have older siblings!
Activity Suggestions:
- a) Baking gluten-free cupcakes with wholesome decorations
- b) Making short films; I’ll need props and editing equipment
- c) Playing board games with adjusted rules for self-esteem
- d) Engaging in arts and crafts with preferred materials listed
Household Guidelines:
- a) Snacks and drinks should be allowed throughout the house
- b) All furniture covered to avoid upset over “no feet on the couch”
- c) Breakables should be stored away to prevent tears
- d) Indoor jungle gyms and slides might need to be installed!
Thanks to all the moms who shared their experiences to help me craft this humorous guide. Remember, this is all in good fun—it’s not about your child, I promise!
For those interested in more on family planning, check out this detailed resource on home insemination. Make sure to explore our guide on the At-Home Insemination Kit for additional insights into this topic, or you can check out the Impregnator Kit for a complete overview.
Summary:
This playful questionnaire serves as a humorous yet practical tool for parents navigating the challenges of accommodating high maintenance children during playdates. From dietary preferences to sleepover considerations, this guide aims to ensure a fun and stress-free experience for everyone involved.
Keyphrase: High Maintenance Child Quiz
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]