Why Commenting on My Age as a Parent Isn’t a Compliment

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It’s a familiar scenario: I’m having a casual chat with someone new—maybe a fellow parent at my child’s school or a random stranger in the park—when the conversation takes a turn. They learn how old my kids are and then, without fail, I hear the dreaded words: “Wait, how old are you?”

Sure, I’m younger than most parents of tweens, and when they discover I’m “just” 28, I often feel the need to clarify that my 12-year-old is actually my stepson. I know, it sounds a bit defensive, but hey, math isn’t everyone’s strong suit!

It doesn’t matter that I wasn’t a teenager when I had my first child (I was 19, if you must know). Even if I had been 16, does it really concern anyone else? I’m there for the basketball games, school concerts, and all the parent-teacher meetings—just like every other parent. I deal with the same worries about grades, the internet, dating, and the mountain of bills that comes with raising kids.

I understand that most people mean well and probably intend their “Wow, you’re so young!” comment as a compliment (I’ll appreciate it in a decade, sure). But here’s why you—whoever you may be—should think twice before expressing your surprise at my age:

  1. When you tell me I’m too young to be a parent, I can’t help but feel frustrated. I’m already doing the job, and my kids are older than yours. So, clearly, I’m not too young.
  2. Would you ever inquire about the age of a woman in her forties managing toddlers? I didn’t think so. That would be considered rude, right?
  3. When you say, “When I was your age…” just remember, by the time I’m your age, my kids will be in their twenties. It’s not such a bad plan after all!
  4. Suggesting that my youth makes me less capable as a parent is disheartening. Just because I had my first child young doesn’t mean I’m less invested in parenting than you are. It feels like you’re implying I’m overwhelmed or immature.
  5. Let’s not forget: a couple of generations ago, girls were getting married at 16 and having children at lightning speed. While I’m not advocating for that, it’s worth keeping things in perspective.
  6. Even though it’s tempting, I would never retort to your “You’re so young” comment with “Well, you’re just old.”

Let’s respect each other’s parenting journeys. It really doesn’t matter how old we were when we started—whether it was at 19, 27, or 42. We’re all in this together. And who knows? You might just learn something valuable from me.

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Summary

In summary, while many people may comment on my age as a parent with good intentions, such remarks often undermine my experience and capabilities. It’s essential to recognize that parenting is a shared journey, and age should not be a measure of competence. Let’s celebrate our diverse paths to parenthood instead of judging one another based on age.

Keyphrase: Parenting at a young age

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