Before I embraced motherhood, I never would have pondered, “Is it acceptable for my child to use my sock as toilet paper?” Or after my toddler decided to sprinkle her great-grandparents’ ashes in her hair, I found myself asking, “How much soap is needed to remove human remains from hair?” Spoiler alert: a lot. Now, these questions are part of my reality, and there’s no turning back.
Here are 25 other queries I never anticipated I’d be asking once I became a mom:
- Is that chocolate or… poop?
- Oh no, will anyone realize I’m wearing mismatched shoes?
- Can a baby really sap your energy through breastfeeding?
- Ketchup definitely counts as a vegetable, right?
- How is it possible that I hold a degree but can’t solve this second-grade math problem?
- Wrestling my child into their outfit counts as a workout, right?
- Did my mom also hide in the bathroom for a breather?
- How long can a kid live on toast alone?
- Is it feasible for my ears to burst from the number of words being thrown at me?
- Is she genuinely being sweet, or does she want something?
- How long until someone actually succumbs to sleep deprivation?
- I can skip washing my face if I didn’t remove last night’s makeup, right?
- What’s the exact pitch of a scream that could shatter glass?
- Does my partner really sleep that deeply, or is he faking it?
- Wow, how long has it been since I last groomed my eyebrows?
- If I stay silent, will they even discover me?
- How much do I genuinely care about enforcing this rule right now?
- Did I remember to wear a bra today?
- Do I have enough patience reserves to let her help mix these ingredients?
- Oh my gosh, didn’t my mom used to say that same line?
- How did I not realize I’m a control freak until he insisted on choosing his own outfit?
- Was Google created solely to terrify me?
- Was I this annoying as a child?
- Am I irrevocably damaging this kid?
- Who am I, really?
If you’re interested in exploring more about family journeys, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. For those looking into the process, you can learn about a couples’ fertility journey. And if you’re curious about the tools available, take a look at this at-home insemination kit for more information.
Summary: Motherhood introduces a whole new set of amusing and perplexing questions that many moms find themselves pondering. From the trivial to the serious, these reflections encapsulate the journey of parenting in a humorous light.
Keyphrase: Questions Moms Ask Themselves
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]