The Grocery Store Etiquette: 10 Commandments for Shoppers

  1. Thou shalt not abandon thy cart in empty parking spaces. In the world of grocery shopping, there are two types of people: those who return their carts to the designated areas, and those who don’t. Leaving a cart to fend for itself can block parking spots, leading to frustration for drivers. Remember, carts have a home—help them get there.
  2. Thou shalt not meander down the center of the parking lot. You are not endowed with superhuman powers that allow you to obstruct vehicles on their path. Stay to one side—any side will do—and avoid accidents.
  3. Thou shalt navigate the aisles in an orderly fashion. Stick to the right side going up and the left side coming down. If you decide to sprint down the middle as if you’re in a football game and bump into my cart, don’t be surprised if I give you a little nudge. And please, don’t stop suddenly to admire the soup selection like it’s an art exhibit; it’s just soup.
  4. Thou shalt adhere to express lane regulations. The sign clearly states a limit of 15 items or fewer. This doesn’t mean “everything you can stack in your small cart.” If you have 75 cans of soup, that counts as 75 items, not one. Remember, if everyone disregarded this rule, the express lane would just be a regular line.
  5. Thou shalt not randomly place items in unrelated sections. If you change your mind about that frozen pizza, don’t leave it next to the shampoo. Seriously, what are you thinking?
  6. Thou shalt respect the personal space bubble at checkout. No matter how close you get or how many items you shove onto the belt, I am next in line. If you continue creeping up, I may take my sweet time sorting through my coupons just to annoy you—unless you want to pay for my items, then we can talk.
  7. Thou shalt treat the cashier kindly. This means no phone conversations while she rings up your groceries and no tantrums when she won’t accept expired coupons. If you try to sneak one through, just let it go; it’s only a few cents off. You’ll be fine.
  8. Thou shalt not halt at the exit to scrutinize thy receipt. Once you receive your receipt and the avalanche of coupons that comes with it, don’t stop like it’s a treasure map. Move to the side so others can exit too.
  9. Thou shalt think twice before using self-checkout. Know your limitations. Can you find a barcode? Can you match the image of bananas on the screen to those in your cart? If you answered “no” to any of these, please choose the regular checkout line.
  10. Thou shalt not stalk for a parking spot. Please don’t trail behind me at a snail’s pace waiting for my space when there are plenty of others available. If you’re not going to help me unload my groceries, your impatience will only make me take longer to leave.

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