I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it all started, but I do recall being in a particular coffee shop about two weeks ago. It was one of those places where soft rock classics play in the background—nothing too avant-garde, just some mellow tunes meant to soothe patrons as they sip their brews. As I paid for my coffee, a familiar melody wafted through the air. It was a song I hadn’t heard in ages. As I stepped out, I realized it was Brenda Russell’s 1988 hit “Piano in the Dark.” Little did I know, this would set off a nine-day ordeal.
Day 1
The madness creeps in slowly. While loading my washing machine, the song’s slick ’80s intro begins echoing in my mind. The narrative unfolds in my thoughts: a woman questioning the spark in her relationship, only to be drawn back by her partner’s piano playing in the dark. Surprisingly, I find myself humming along, feeling rather pleased about it.
Day 2
After a day of the song looping in my brain, I make the regrettable decision to watch the music video on YouTube. This solidifies every note in my memory, intensifying its grip on my mind. The video is quite perplexing: Brenda brews herbal tea in real-time and throws playing cards at a hat. While there’s a piano featured, a gigantic harp takes center stage. Why doesn’t she ever mention the harp? “Greg, can’t we do something about that harp gathering dust?” I ponder. It’s all just so baffling.
Day 3
I begin to wonder about the mental well-being of the song’s narrator and characters. What if “he” is playing an atonal cacophony that’s driving Brenda mad? As my own frustration mounts after 72 hours of this tune, my subconscious starts inserting comical lyrics. Now “he” is playing “Piano up his Ass.” I chuckle, then realize I’m alone, much like the lonely narrator of the song. Oh dear.
Day 4
I wake to an unexpected silence, greeted by a bright morning. As I breathe in the fresh air, I think I may have escaped the song’s clutches. But just as I step outside, the familiar lines hit me: “Just as I walk through the door…” and there it is again.
Day 5
I feel like Job, tormented by a higher power for reasons unknown. Even the session musicians who recorded “Piano in the Dark” probably didn’t dwell on it as much as I have. The worst part? I can’t tell anyone about my struggle, or they might catch this madness too. I go about my daily life, all while Brenda’s big ’80s hair swirls in my thoughts, asking if her relationship still has that vital spark—one that is waning from me with every passing moment.
Day 6
I start to wonder if the song holds a deeper riddle I must solve to reclaim my sanity. Who is “he,” really? In the video, he looks a bit like David Lee Roth, which adds another layer of intrigue.
Day 7
I finally figure it out: “He” is the embodiment of the maddening tune itself. Perhaps he’s Satan or Cthulhu, playing eternally on a piano made of human bones. This is quite the twisted game. I discover Brenda received two Grammy nominations for this song—clearly, the conspiracy runs deeper than I imagined.
Day 8
Despair sets in. I am but a shell of my former self, destined to repeat this song every four minutes and twenty-eight seconds for the rest of my life. My friend and I have lunch, and I’m barely present. My mind is a human iPod stuck on repeat, until I casually ask him if he’s ever had a song stuck in his head. He suggests singing “Kumbaya” as a remedy. “It wipes out the other song without leaving a trace,” he says. I’m skeptical but intrigued.
Day 9
To my astonishment, it works. Every time Brenda tries to resurface, I counter with “Kumbaya,” and the melody dissipates. I look up “Kumbaya” on Wikipedia, learning that it originated as a plea for divine help. How fitting. Slowly, Brenda fades from my thoughts, and I regain my mental space. Yet, a tiny part of me misses the song, just a little—perhaps I shed a tear when I think of letting go.
In summary, a seemingly innocent coffee shop encounter spiraled into a nine-day struggle against an incessant earworm. Through humor and a surprising discovery, I found my salvation in an unexpected remedy. For those interested in home insemination, check out more about the impregnator at home insemination kit or the babymaker home intracervical insemination syringe kit combo, and for a deeper understanding of the process, explore in vitro fertilisation.
Keyphrase: earworm experience
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