When someone asks how I’m doing, I often reply with, “I can’t complain.” And honestly, I shouldn’t. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, a loving partner, and healthy kids. It’s essential for me to focus on gratitude rather than grievances.
However, I’ve noticed that complaining has become a common thread in conversations, a way for people to connect through shared frustrations. We find ourselves grumbling about everything from the weather—too much rain, not enough rain—to long lines at the grocery store, the slow service at a restaurant, or the endless pile of laundry waiting for our attention. I’m just as guilty of this as anyone else. I’ll catch myself lamenting about how hot it is outside or how I wish I could shed a few pounds without cutting back on my beloved wine and carbs. Or I’ll complain about the tiresome task of driving my son to hockey practice, especially when rush hour traffic adds a frustrating forty-five minutes to the commute.
Everyone has their moments of self-pity, but lately, I’ve been trying to hold back my complaints. Before I allow another one to slip out, I remind myself of my friend, Sarah.
Remembering Sarah
Sarah and I met in middle school. She was incredibly bright, especially in English and History. Always kind and engaging, she went on to become an English teacher at our alma mater, inspiring young minds with literature. She had three wonderful boys and kept in touch with our classmates through reunions. Tragically, during her third pregnancy, she was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. A couple of years later, at just 39, she passed away, leaving her youngest son only two years old.
The last time I saw Sarah was at our friend Lila’s birthday party. It was June, and she attended with her boys, full of life and laughter, as her cancer was in remission. She had this quiet strength about her and was genuinely present in conversations. Tragically, just months later, her cancer returned and she was gone by Thanksgiving.
On days when I feel overwhelmed and frustrated, I think of Sarah. When I’m washing dishes at the sink, I remind myself that she would give anything to be in my position, scrubbing pots and pans. If my alarm goes off at 6:00 am and I’m exhausted, I picture how she would gladly trade places with me to wake up her children. While stuck in traffic carpooling kids, I focus on how fortunate I am to experience these ordinary moments.
A Shift Towards Positivity
I’m making a conscious effort to shift my conversations towards positivity, celebrating the good instead of dwelling on the negative. It’s a challenge, but it’s a choice I’m committed to. I’m reminded of a dad I see at my son’s hockey practices; he always responds to my “How are you?” with “Living the dream!” He says it jokingly, but it rings true. We are living the life that Sarah and many others only wished they could have. So, if you ask me how I’m doing today, I hope to respond with, “Living the dream! I can’t complain at all.”
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Conclusion
In summary, while it’s easy to fall into the habit of complaining, shifting our focus to gratitude can help us cherish the everyday moments we often take for granted.
Keyphrase: Mindful approach to life’s complaints
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