It seems simple, doesn’t it? But it’s not. Until I made a conscious effort to acknowledge others’ feelings, I hadn’t realized how often I dismissed them. Statements like, “You’re always happy when we go,” or “This news should excite you,” were my go-tos. However, time and again, I learned those phrases didn’t resonate.
Take yesterday, for instance. We recently had a significant snowfall, and my younger daughter insisted on wearing her sneakers to school while I wanted her in snow boots. (Why do kids always fight against wearing the right gear?) Sensing her growing frustration, I recognized that without my newfound approach, I might have responded with contradictory comments like, “The boots aren’t uncomfortable,” or “You’ve worn them before without a problem.” Instead, our exchange went something like this:
Her: “I don’t want to wear those boots. They don’t feel comfortable.”
Me: “I understand you’d prefer sneakers, but it’s snowy outside, so the boots are necessary.”
Her: “I don’t want to wear the boots.”
Me: “You wish you could wear your sneakers.”
Her: “I don’t want to carry my sneakers, I want to wear them.”
Me: “You’re not feeling like wearing these boots today. I get that they aren’t the best for the long walk.”
In the end, she calmly slipped into her boots. Really!
When others dismiss my feelings, I often find myself repeating my concerns because it feels as if they haven’t acknowledged me. Experts suggest that ignoring negative emotions only amplifies them, while recognizing them allows more positive feelings to surface. It certainly seemed to work in this case. Feeling calm and understanding is much more enjoyable for everyone involved.
This principle applies to adults as well. Recently, I tackled a significant household project. I’ll admit, I didn’t approach it with much grace. My partner, Jake, was well aware of my mounting frustration. Just before I dove into the most challenging aspect, he casually remarked, “This doesn’t look too tough.” Wrong move! He probably thought he was being supportive, but his comment only fueled my irritation. Acknowledging my feelings would have been more beneficial — something like, “Wow, this looks like a big job; it’s fantastic that you’re taking it on.” A few compliments wouldn’t hurt, either.
When my feelings are ignored, I often find myself repeating my frustrations (i.e., whining) because I want them to be recognized. For example, if Jake doesn’t want to discuss my ongoing email issues, I don’t particularly want to either, but until I hear something like, “That sounds really frustrating,” I can’t seem to let it go. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this excellent resource on the topic.
This all ties back to the importance of validation. Acknowledging someone’s unhappiness can be the key to helping them feel better. It’s a simple yet effective approach to fostering positivity.
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Summary
Recognizing and validating others’ feelings can significantly improve their emotional state. Ignoring negative emotions only intensifies them, while acknowledgment allows positivity to resurface. It’s valuable for both children and adults to feel heard, making it essential to practice this in everyday interactions.
Keyphrase: Acknowledging Unhappiness
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