Parenting
How to Navigate Major Life Changes Without Supportive Friends
I’ve often found myself captivated by the insights of Dr. Brian Little, a scholar whose work delves into human behavior, habits, and the essence of happiness. So, I was thrilled to explore his book, Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being. The subtitle alone hinted at shared interests, and I was eager to glean his thoughts on personal fulfillment and habit formation.
What’s a key takeaway from your research on habits?
In the opening chapter of Me, Myself and Us, I discuss how our “personal constructs”—the lenses through which we view ourselves and others—shape our lives. These constructs can be identifiers like “creative,” “disorganized,” or “adventurous.” When these labels become too rigid, they can limit our potential for growth. Similarly, the personal projects we engage in can become monotonous. It’s essential to revamp these projects to ensure we’re thriving rather than merely existing.
What simple habit consistently boosts your happiness?
I find joy in resisting the urge to fall into monotonous routines. While some may see this as a quixotic endeavor, it keeps my life vibrant.
What’s something about healthy habits you wish you’d known at 18?
It’s crucial to share your goals with others to maintain healthy habits. However, choosing whom to confide in is vital, as not everyone will offer the support you need. In my book, I explore personality traits that may hinder positive reinforcement.
Are there habits that hinder your happiness?
I struggle with perfectionism, which can be a double-edged sword. While it sometimes enhances my sense of achievement, it can also be a source of stress.
What habits do you prioritize?
I cherish the habit of being open to new experiences, even if it means stepping outside my comfort zone. As an introvert, I often have to adopt an extroverted persona while teaching, but it’s essential for connecting with my students. If I resisted these opportunities, I’d miss out on fulfilling my core passions.
Do you have strategies to recharge after acting out of character?
After a demanding lecture, I often find solace in quiet places, like restrooms, where I can regroup. Susan Cain highlights this phenomenon in her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, and I expand on it further in my own writing.
Have you successfully changed a challenging habit?
I quit smoking with sheer determination during my younger years.
How would you categorize your personality type—Upholder, Questioner, Rebel, or Obliger?
I generally identify as an Upholder, valuing promptness, but I can be rebellious when it feels like my or my loved ones’ aspirations are restricted.
What barriers do you face in maintaining healthy habits?
Overcommitting can derail my wellness goals, but I often weigh the benefits of enjoying life against strict health standards. Recently, I felt invigorated after speaking to a group of fitness experts, but sustaining that motivation can be tricky.
Have you ever had a sudden epiphany that altered a major habit?
Meeting my partner, Jamie, was a transformative experience that reshaped my habits forever, though I’ll keep the details private.
Do you prefer to embrace or resist habits?
It depends on the habit in question; I usually don’t resist unless it contradicts my values.
Has someone else influenced your habits significantly?
Do pets count? They certainly have a way of shaping our routines!
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Summary
Major life changes can be daunting, especially when lacking support from friends. Understanding personal constructs and enhancing habits can aid in thriving during transitions. Embracing new experiences, seeking restorative moments, and strategically sharing goals can foster resilience. By being mindful of the influences around us, we can navigate our paths more effectively.
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