I have my fair share of irrational fears. Zombies? Terrifying. Cockroaches? No thanks. Opening cans of biscuits? Talk about a heart-stopping moment! But there’s one fear that I couldn’t avoid, no matter how much I tried to prepare.
During my first pregnancy, I was consumed by a singular anxiety: the prospect of pooping during childbirth. Sure, I had concerns about the changes to my body and what delivery would entail, like many first-time moms. The thought of giving birth felt like trying to push a giant pillow through a tiny sweater opening. But once the notion that I might actually poop on the delivery table crept into my mind, I was in a panic.
I had read a line in a pregnancy book stating, “Your doctor may ask you to push as if you’re having a bowel movement.” That thought spiraled into a deep, dark rabbit hole. What stops you from having a bowel movement during such a crucial moment? The answer, I realized, was nothing. Whatever was in there—be it baby, placenta, or last night’s pizza—would inevitably make its exit.
I called my friend Jessica, practically in tears. “What if I poop on the birthing table?” I exclaimed.
“Well, it happens,” she said casually. “But don’t worry; it’s really no big deal.”
No big deal? The idea of bare-bottomed pooping in front of a small army of strangers, including my partner, who I hoped would still find me attractive afterward? Definitely a big deal. I knew that the medical team would handle emergencies professionally, but witnessing my most embarrassing moment? That was another story.
In my mind, I envisioned a nightmarish scenario: me, vulnerable and exposed, with a medical team surrounding me, and then—cue the fart noise—the horror would unfold. I pictured shocked faces, horrified gasps, and muffled laughter.
Yet, my rational side insisted, “They’re professionals; this is nothing new for them.” Still, I couldn’t shake the anxiety.
But here’s the surprising truth about childbirth: when the time finally came, the overwhelming focus on bringing my little one into the world completely overshadowed my fears. As I prepared to push, all I could think about was meeting the baby I had dreamed of for so long.
With the nurse’s encouragement, I pushed as instructed. As I did, I noticed her efficiently tending to the absorbent pad beneath me. And then it hit me—I must have pooped.
To my relief, my nightmare didn’t play out as I had imagined. There were no horrified gasps or giggles; the staff was completely unfazed. In fact, I wasn’t entirely sure I had pooped until my husband confirmed it later (and we went on to have three more kids, so he clearly wasn’t traumatized!).
So, to all the expectant moms out there worrying about this very issue: take a deep breath. It’s not nearly as catastrophic as you fear. Sure, you might prefer not to add that to your birthing experience, but trust me, it really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. The professionals are accustomed to it and maintain their composure no matter what.
And remember, you’re about to bring a beautiful new life into the world; don’t let the thought of a little poop overshadow that incredible experience.
For further insights into pregnancy and fertility treatments, check out March of Dimes. And if you’re considering home insemination, this blog post about at-home insemination kits is worth a read, along with this comprehensive guide on insemination kits.
Summary:
Childbirth can be accompanied by many fears, including the anxiety of pooping during delivery. However, this concern often fades in the face of the overwhelming experience of bringing a baby into the world. Medical professionals are accustomed to such occurrences, and it’s unlikely to be as mortifying as you might imagine. Focus on the joy of your new arrival and try not to let the fear of pooping overshadow the momentous occasion.
Keyphrase: pooping during childbirth
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