Let’s be real for a moment. I went through labor without any pain relief, nursed my daughter until she was 2 years old (trust me, I loved it but wanted my body back—my partner did too). I ensure that everyone in my household, including my vaccine-averse spouse, is fully vaccinated. I prefer that my little one avoids sugary snacks. Yes, sometimes she intentionally bumps into things (like furniture), and I find it amusing. She has been sleeping in her own bed since she was three weeks old. Oh, and I carry her a lot—seriously, a lot. When I drop her off at preschool, she often cries, and I rush off to work, barely making it on time. And yes, she adores hot dogs. And ketchup. Lots of ketchup.
So, care to judge?
Let’s face it—while we might not admit it, moms have a tendency to judge. I’m guilty of it, and I bet you are too. But there are certain judgments that truly need to stop. Here are four of them:
1. How We Give Birth
When I was expecting, I knew an epidural was a long shot for me. The risk of paralysis didn’t seem worth a few hours of pain, and I was ready to share my epic birth story. My friend, however, had an emergency c-section at 32 weeks when her baby was in distress. Decades later, she still hears that she “didn’t really experience childbirth” because of her c-section. If a human comes into this world through your body, that’s childbirth, plain and simple! And let’s not forget that adoptive parents have their own unique birth stories as well.
2. How We Nourish Our Kids
Unless you see me force-feeding my toddler a cheeseburger, please don’t interfere. I chose to breastfeed because it worked for us, but I also know plenty of healthy adults who were raised on formula. Not every family can afford a strictly organic diet or can keep up with the latest baby food trends. I might have lost my sanity trying to make my own baby food, while some moms thrive on that creativity. If you’re interested in boosting fertility or learning more about family building options, check out this excellent resource: Resolve.
3. When We Enroll Our Kids in School or Daycare
“Sending a two-year-old to preschool full-time? That’s outrageous!” Well, my partner and I both work full-time, and our relatives aren’t available to care for our child. If we don’t want to bring our toddler to my job (to the delight of my 100 students), what option do we have? I respect that some parents choose to stay home, and I sometimes envy that time they get with their kids, but our family needs this arrangement. We all have to make decisions based on our circumstances. For instance, I can’t quit my job without sacrificing family visits—so my child goes to school.
4. How We Manage Our Kids in Public
I consider myself a pretty relaxed parent. At home, I let my daughter explore her surroundings while I keep an eye on her. But in public, it feels like everyone is ready to intervene if they think she’s about to trip or fall. I fell and scraped my knees as a kid, and I learned to take risks. Sometimes my daughter cries in public, and it feels like everyone is scrutinizing my parenting. Unless your child is in real danger, let’s give each other some space to parent freely.
We all have our individual quirks and pet peeves. It’s tough not to judge, especially since we believe we’re making the best choices for our children. But remember, we’re making these decisions for our kids—no one else’s.
Let’s embrace the fact that, while we’re in this parenting journey together, our children have unique needs that may not align with someone else’s choices. For more insights on family planning, check out this informative post.
Summary:
Moms often find themselves judging each other on various aspects of parenting, from childbirth experiences to feeding choices and childcare decisions. It’s essential to recognize that each family operates under unique circumstances, and what works for one may not work for another. Instead of judging, let’s support one another in this often challenging journey of motherhood.
Keyphrase: Mom Judging Habits
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