When my daughter, whom I affectionately call Little Miss, arrived, I began to notice that alcohol no longer agreed with me. I had never been a heavy drinker, but like many in college and beyond, I indulged in a drink now and then. While I didn’t have a passionate love for alcohol, I certainly enjoyed it.
During my pregnancy, I abstained completely, but once I had Little Miss, I tried to reintroduce the occasional glass of wine or beer. To my surprise, my tolerance had plummeted to zero. Just half a glass would hit me hard, and not in a pleasant way.
Alcohol affected me in unexpected ways. For starters, it didn’t make me the cheerful socialite that it does for many. Instead, I became combative. I’ve always had a bit of an argumentative streak (thank you, law school), and alcohol only amplified that. This wasn’t the ideal way to engage with others.
Additionally, it stripped away my filter. I found myself saying things I wouldn’t normally share—gossiping and lacking tact. The true revelation came the next day when I’d be filled with anxiety and regret. “Was I really that difficult to be around?” I’d find myself asking my partner, Jake, seeking reassurance about my behavior.
These feelings were compounded if I was in a setting with acquaintances or individuals I didn’t particularly connect with. It was those situations where I desperately needed to be friendly and composed. Instead, I ended up feeling exhausted and miserable—uncontrollable yawning and a deep-seated fatigue followed.
The crux of the issue was that the negative feelings overshadowed any potential enjoyment I might have gleaned from drinking. In truth, I never savored the taste of a good wine or found joy in cocktails. I’ve always felt that the calories in alcohol were better spent on dessert.
Eventually, it dawned on me: this wasn’t a healthy relationship with alcohol. While it seemed enjoyable for many, it just wasn’t for me. I decided it was best to skip the drink, avoid the remorse, and save those calories for something I truly loved.
I’m not suggesting this approach would suit everyone. I genuinely enjoy seeing others revel in their drinks (unless they start going on about fine wines). I appreciate the celebratory atmosphere that drinks like martinis or champagne bring, and I’ve even admired Winston Churchill’s fondness for liquor—despite the fact that he drank less than most assume.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is this: just because something brings joy to others doesn’t mean it will bring joy to me—and vice versa.
Now that I drink less, I feel happier and more composed. After a night out, I can return home without feeling weighed down by regret or anxiety over my actions. I feel energized instead of exhausted, which makes the experience far more enjoyable for me.
It’s perplexing that it took me so long to realize I wasn’t actually enjoying drinking. I could have approached the problem differently by simply drinking more to build a higher tolerance, which might have improved my behavior. Yet, I found it easier to forgo drinking entirely.
Occasionally, I might enjoy a glass of wine or a celebratory beer, but I’ve come to understand that alcohol just doesn’t align with my well-being.
Sometimes, I wonder if I’m missing out by drinking so little. Why do I feel so restrained while others seem to be having such a good time? But then I remind myself that it simply isn’t enjoyable for me.
It’s striking how long it took for me to come to this realization. Why is it often so hard to “be myself”? Recognizing our own preferences can be surprisingly difficult, even when they seem so obvious.
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Summary
In summary, I realized that my relationship with alcohol was not serving me well. After becoming a parent, I found that drinking made me anxious and argumentative rather than joyful. The decision to stop drinking was about prioritizing my happiness and well-being, even if it meant forgoing what others found enjoyable.
Keyphrase: Why I Stopped Drinking Alcohol
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