Every morning, I coax my little ones into their car seats as we embark on our journey to preschool and kindergarten, grooving along to the latest Top 40 hits. Our musical selections are spontaneous; as long as it has a catchy beat, we’re all in. I don’t scrutinize the lyrics too closely since my kids are still young enough to miss the more questionable innuendos, often jumbling the words anyway. At home, our dance party playlist features a few suggestive tracks (Katy Perry’s “Peacock” and Icona Pop’s “I Love It” are crowd favorites). I even once created a CD for daycare without realizing I included the explicit versions—definitely not my proudest parenting moment.
However, there’s one song that always makes me cringe, and it seems to be on every radio preset I touch:
Gonna wear that dress you like, skin-tight
Do my hair up real, real nice
And syncopate my skin to your heart beating
Cause I just wanna look good for you, good for you
I just wanna look good for you, good for you
Let me show you how proud I am to be yours
Leave this dress a mess on the floor
And still look good for you, good for you
–“Good For You” by Madison Lane
How can I brush off songs that celebrate partying and casual relationships but get so bothered by this one? It’s because, while those party anthems might not set the best example, they at least portray the singer as confident and self-assured.
When I put myself in the singer’s shoes, the phrase “I just want to look good for you” sends a troubling message. It implies:
- I’m putting in all this effort just to please you.
- My appearance matters more to you than it does to me.
- My self-worth hinges on your perception of me, which suggests that I’m not good enough as I am.
My daughter, now five, will inevitably face countless messages about beauty standards, many of which can be unhealthy. She already enjoys dressing up in frilly garments and pretending to be older, which I’m fine with—as long as she retains her spirited nature and pairs her fanciest princess attire with bedhead and jelly-stained lips from her adventures in the dirt. I want her to see dressing up as a fun activity, not as a societal obligation.
In stark contrast, the song by Madison Lane encourages conforming to another person’s ideals. The lyrics depict the singer as an object, prioritizing external validation over her own self-worth. The repeated refrain of “just wanna look good for you” resonates as a whisper of inadequacy; it suggests that her own desires and opinions are unimportant.
This pervasive notion in today’s media—only hitting home when I hear it echoing in my daughter’s voice—is not something I want my children to internalize. I’m not boycotting Madison Lane, as I imagine her goal was simply to create a hit song. My priority, however, is to cultivate resilient children who feel comfortable in their own skin and only change their appearance when it pleases them.
So, what’s the moral here? It’s essential to recognize and challenge harmful messages and teach our kids to do the same. I want my daughter to understand that if she invests in her appearance, it should be for her own enjoyment, with any external approval being a happy bonus. I hope she’ll scrutinize anyone—friend or romantic interest—who thinks she should be anything other than her authentic self. And I aspire for my son to respect a woman’s confidence and authenticity, seeing that as the most attractive trait.
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Summary
In this article, the author discusses the impact of certain popular songs on children’s self-worth and body image. She expresses concern over lyrics that prioritize external validation over self-acceptance, particularly in the context of her daughter’s development. The piece emphasizes the importance of fostering confidence and critical thinking in children regarding societal messages about beauty.
Keyphrase: “impact of popular music on child self-image”
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