The 10 Guidelines of Mom Collective

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Welcome to the “Mom Collective,” a space for everyday moms like us who are tired of the rivalry and judgment that often comes from outside our circle. Before you think about joining, here are some essential guidelines to remember:

  1. Ditch the Cleaning: Do not tidy up your home before fellow moms drop by. If your place looks like a magazine spread, you’re out. And if you expect us to clean up before your visit, well, that’s a fast track to the exit.
  2. Use the Term “Meetings”: When planning get-togethers over lunch, coffee, or wine, don’t say you’re just going out. You’re attending an important meeting. If you’re too candid about it, you may find yourself on the outside looking in.
  3. No Criticism of Other Moms’ Kids: Even if a mom is venting about her own child, keep your opinions to yourself. She can say what she wants, but you should just nod, reassure her she’s doing great, and keep the wine flowing.
  4. Keep Non-Holidays Low-Key: Seriously, Valentine’s Day or St. Patrick’s Day are not major holidays. A simple toast with an adult beverage is fine, but please, no elaborate decorations or themed crafts. And don’t even think about giving out gnome gifts or glitter coins—let’s keep it simple.
  5. Avoid Over-Volunteering: It’s perfectly fine to help out, but don’t be the mom who takes on every task. Others will resent you for it, and it will cut into our “meetings”—which are crucial for sanity.
  6. Invest in Self-Care: When you take time for yourself, don’t call it a day at the spa. Instead, refer to it as a refining day or personal development. This will help outsiders understand your priorities better.
  7. Give a Heads-Up: If you’ve had a tough conversation with your kids about sensitive topics like sex or the truth behind Santa, let the rest of us know. It’s only fair to prepare us and our kids for those discussions.
  8. Don’t Drag Us into Your Kid’s Events: We might help babysit occasionally, but don’t expect us to attend every recital or tournament. That’s your job. Our own burdens are already plenty heavy.
  9. No Judgment or Unsolicited Opinions: Whether you have strong views on breastfeeding or sleep training, keep them to yourself unless someone specifically asks. We’re all just trying to make it through the parenting maze.
  10. Avoid Making Other Moms Look Bad: If you happen to be one of those super moms who cooks every meal or cleans daily, let’s just keep that between us. No need to make the rest of us feel inadequate.

Think you can handle it? The initiation process is tough and the temptation to break the rules is high. We’d love to welcome you, but only if you can play by the guidelines.

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Summary: The Mom Collective offers a supportive environment for mothers who want to escape competition and judgment. By adhering to ten lighthearted yet important guidelines, members can enjoy camaraderie without the pressure of perfection.

Keyphrase: Mom Collective Guidelines

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