As the holiday season approaches (yes, brace yourself), I’ve compiled a list of clever retorts to those pesky questions from in-laws that can sometimes chip away at your confidence. Here’s how you can respond with a dash of humor and a whole lot of sass.
-
So, you don’t cook much?
Not really! My culinary skills peak at pouring cereal. But don’t fret—it’s Froot Loops! I heard the pink ones have beta carotene or something. Or was it the orange ones? Who knows! -
Did you get the baby’s cough checked out?
Oh, you mean at the doctor? We’ve switched to homeopathy! At least, that’s what the card said. They do some sort of ritual with incense and—wait for it—fire. -
Nice new couch!
Thanks for noticing! Your diligent son got a bonus, and while he suggested saving it for the kids’ college fund, I thought, “Why not treat myself first?” Spoiler alert: I ended up buying the couch instead. The bracelet? Never wore it. -
Have you enrolled our granddaughter in the gifted program?
Honestly, I’m not sure she’s that advanced. I did sign her up for dance classes, though. Just in case community college doesn’t work out, she might have a shot at a future in pole dancing! -
Are you still working full-time?
Oh, no! We hit the jackpot! I’m just putting on a show every day while I sip lattes at Starbucks and catch up on US Weekly. Meanwhile, the kids are confusing our daycare provider for “Mommy.” -
They should wear jackets in this weather.
Nah, they need to toughen up for the move to Halifax. Didn’t I mention that? -
You look tired.
Thanks! That’s the vibe I was aiming for! Well, actually, it was “tired and frumpy.” So, if you want to comment on my weight gain, the night is still young! -
Is my son getting any downtime?
Honestly? Not really. Between chopping wood and pushing coal in a wheelbarrow for me, he doesn’t have much leisure time. Oh, and I also make him give me pedicures! -
You should make the kids listen.
Wow, thank you for that revelation! I was just contemplating whether to enforce some rules, but it’s so cute when they scream and ignore me. Now that you’ve put it that way, I’m totally on board! -
When did your parents last visit?
Never! We only see you guys because we prefer your company. But shhh, don’t tell them—my parents have no idea about Halifax!
Until next time, I remain your friendly neighborhood mom navigating the family dynamics. If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out our post on at-home insemination kits, it might just be the resource you need.
To learn more about the options available for pregnancy, visit this excellent resource on IVF. And if you’re curious about at-home insemination kits, be sure to check out Cryobaby’s guide for more information!
Summary:
The article provides ten humorous comebacks to common questions from in-laws, offering a lighthearted take on family interactions during the holiday season. Each response is crafted to showcase personality while gently deflecting unwelcome inquiries.
Keyphrase: witty comebacks for in-laws
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]