My HIV-Positive Child is Playing with Yours, and You Might Not Know It

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You may not realize it, but my HIV-positive child is interacting with yours. She has shared laughter with your child at a local private preschool, splashed around during swim lessons, and stood in line behind your kid in gymnastics class. Thanks to legal protections, we don’t have to disclose her HIV status to schools, camps, or even other parents—only medical professionals like doctors and dentists.

The stigma surrounding HIV has led to extensive advocacy for the right to maintain privacy regarding one’s health status. Our adoption social worker advised us: “Keep this information to yourselves. Your daughter, who is Chinese, will already stand out. Do you really want to give your community another reason to judge her?”

Earlier this year, my daughter, Lily, attempted to explain her situation to your child. “Emma, guess what? I have a dragon in my blood. I was born with it, and my mommy in China had it too. When I take my medicine, the dragon stays asleep.” Emma, along with several other kids, didn’t understand, with one even chiming in, “Well, I was born in China, and I have a dragon too!” It’s clear they didn’t grasp the full picture yet.

So, why don’t I have to inform schools, churches, or daycares about her status? Because HIV has never been transmitted in these environments. Modern antiretroviral treatments have made the virus virtually undetectable. Every four months, Lily’s blood is tested, and each time, the results show no virus in her system. She’s healthy, joyful, and full of energy. I patch up her scraped knees, wipe her nose, share snacks, and kiss her—all without the slightest worry of contracting HIV.

It’s important to remember that she was simply born with the virus. If her birth mother had access to life-saving antiretroviral medications during pregnancy, Lily could have been born HIV negative. In China, those medications are provided at no cost. Unfortunately, many people living with HIV in China avoid treatment due to the fear of being ostracized by their families and communities.

In the future, Lily might date your son and even have HIV-negative children if she desires. Fellow mothers, I urge you to understand that HIV should not be a source of fear. Educate yourselves—search online and consult your pediatrician. Knowledge is power, and you don’t have to take my word for it. Just know that my HIV-positive child is playing with yours—and that’s perfectly okay.

HIV itself isn’t frightening; it’s the ignorance surrounding it that poses a true danger.

Summary:

In this article, Jenna Parker shares her experience as a parent of an HIV-positive child, highlighting the stigma and misconceptions surrounding the virus. She emphasizes the importance of education and understanding, urging other parents to recognize that their children can play together without fear, as modern medicine has rendered HIV non-transmissible in social settings.

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