Just two months after hitting the big 4-0, my partner and I decided to “go for it.” Surprisingly, within a couple of weeks, I found out I was pregnant.
“Seriously? That was our first attempt!” I exclaimed, filled with disbelief.
“Yep, that’s me,” my husband replied, grinning.
What had we gotten ourselves into? I thought we’d have at least half a year to ease into the idea of parenthood. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely convinced. (But hey, shoutout to my fabulous 40-year-old uterus!)
One day, while shopping for area rugs, a strange sensation tugged at my insides. Just some first-time-mom jitters, I figured. The following morning, I went about my routine, but something felt off when I went to flush the toilet.
After five hours of waiting rooms and an ultrasound, the radiologist confirmed my worst fears. “There’s usually a reason for these things,” he explained. “The fetus likely wasn’t viable.”
Two months later, I found myself pregnant again. While I wouldn’t wish a miscarriage on anyone, it imparted invaluable lessons that shaped me into a better mom.
1. Take It Easy
You know how clumsy people often don’t get hurt because they’re relaxed? That was my mindset during my second pregnancy. The first time, I was a nervous wreck—buying every book, vitamin, and health food to ensure a perfect pregnancy. My future child probably had a diet cleaner than a health guru on a juice cleanse.
When I confirmed my second pregnancy, I celebrated with brie and a whole bowl of cookie dough. Sure, I knew the risks, but I was too scared to get attached this time. I focused on just enjoying being pregnant. And you know what? It was liberating. Every stretch mark, every pound—I embraced it all.
2. Material Things Don’t Matter
My husband and I scored a stunning leather couch that we thought deserved elegant throw pillows. Fast forward, and that couch has been transformed into a dairy spill sanctuary, the throw pillows are casualties of toddler chaos, and the coffee table is now a train table. Clearly, no interior designers will be visiting anytime soon.
3. Embrace Yes
Sometimes, I just want a glass of wine and to binge-watch my favorite shows. But instead, I find myself diving into a world of toddler demands—like “climbing up Mommy” while juggling grocery bags. I’ll pull a hamstring for a moment with my son rather than miss out on his laughter and joy. One day, he won’t want to cuddle or play tunnel, so for now, I choose to say yes.
4. Found My Partner in Crime
A hysterical pregnancy is when someone shows all signs of being pregnant without actually being pregnant, while a hysterical miscarriage is when your partner struggles to cope. After my miscarriage, my husband experienced guilt and even claimed he had food poisoning.
His sympathetic stomach ache brought us closer, reminding us that we were in this together. We needed to lean on each other—what a team we are.
5. My Body is Resilient
After the miscarriage, I questioned everything about my body. Was I too cocky to get pregnant on the first try? Was it my fault? But in the end, I realized my body was functioning as it should. Most miscarriages stem from developmental issues, so I decided to stop the self-blame and appreciate my biology.
6. I Discovered My Tribe
I thought I was alone in my experience until I started sharing my story. I found out how common miscarriages are and that many of my friends had gone through similar struggles. Sharing our experiences built a strong bond, and we supported each other—no judgments, just understanding. It’s true what they say; it takes a village to lift you up, especially when you’re feeling down.
7. Prioritizing What Matters
Yes, there are chores and responsibilities, but they can wait. Right now, my son wants to dance to “Elmo’s ABCs,” and I’m not missing that! I can put off errands for a day of fun at the park or a cozy storytime. Being a mom is my priority, and I’m fully committed to this journey.
In retrospect, the experience taught me that the fetus wasn’t the only thing that turned out to be viable; my resolve to be a loving mom flourished in its wake.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this article. For those seeking additional resources on pregnancy, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent information on fertility and insemination.
Summary
Experiencing a miscarriage can be heart-wrenching, but it can also lead to profound growth as a parent. The journey taught me to relax, appreciate the little things, embrace my support system, and prioritize meaningful moments with my child. Ultimately, it made me a more resilient and committed mom.
Keyphrase: Miscarriage and Parenting
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]