14 Topics That Will Never Spark Interest
- Your daily carb intake.
- The dream you had last night.
- Any dream at all. (Unless it features the person you’re chatting with; then it’s absolutely enthralling.)
- The diets that have failed you.
- Your current obsession with a particular person.
- The organic recipe blog you want to launch, inspired by your own life stories—like your dreams, your obsession, and the too-many-carbs salad you made with kale and cucumber.
- How hilarious your child is when they say the same things every kid has said since time began, like “You’re the best mama ever” or “I love you to the moon and back.”
- Your recent online shopping spree where you bought three shirts, and one doesn’t fit, so now you’re unsure whether to return it or buy a swing trench instead, but you’re worried it might be sold out.
- Breast pumping is not a riveting topic.
- Nor is your indecision about hiring a lactation consultant or the issue of nipple confusion.
- Your baby’s fontanelle (but cradle cap? That’s a conversation starter.)
- Anything involving your “spiritual journey,” how “Loving-kindness” fits into your life, what week you’re on in “The Artist’s Way,” or the dreaded mention of your “mentor.”
- That unforgettable weekend at Kripalu.
- Phrases that will get you on the Annoying Party list: “Listicle,” “It is what it is,” “At the end of the day,” “I’m the kind of person who,” and “Amazeballs.”
Topics That Will Always Captivate
Conversely, we often underestimate our own ability to engage. It’s easy to think we’re dull or not funny. From mundane stories to your annoying foot condition, we can unintentionally bore ourselves out of social invitations—which is fine if you’re not keen on parties, but not great if you’re feeling lonely or new in town. Here’s your cheat sheet for engaging conversations. You don’t need to be a stand-up comedian; if your topics fall flat, it’s probably the crowd’s fault.
- How you spent the weekend in jail.
- Outrageous baby names like Endless Spiral, P’Orcelin, or Tragedy.
- Teach the group the game “The Annoying Party” (Trademark Pending!). The premise? Only invite the most annoying people you can think of, even if you don’t know them.
- Home remedies you’ve concocted for various ailments.
- Those ailments themselves.
- A thought-provoking article about self you stumbled upon on Brainpickings.
- The wonders of holistic podiatry.
- Those inadvertently awkward things your child has said, like “I want the dog to come on me!”
- The most amusing typos you’ve seen on dating profiles, such as “Friday nights I usually stay home and coke in the kitchen.”
- Life hacks (like how apple cider vinegar and baking soda clean better than any store-bought solution).
- Your best-kept secrets. (For instance, how to flag down an off-duty cab at 4:30 PM when you’re not going far—simply pretend you’re holding a TV-sized face between your fingers.)
- Anything related to the show Transparent.
- The line of kids’ clothing for adults you wish existed.
- How to dye your clothing and create an entirely new wardrobe in under an hour.
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Summary
In social situations, avoid topics that may bore others, such as your daily carb counts or mundane parenting tales. Instead, opt for more unique or outlandish subjects that are likely to engage and entertain. Remember, it’s not always about being funny; sometimes, the company just needs to change.