Yesterday, I made a life-changing decision: I’m finished with yelling. For good. It’s now been a full 24 hours since I declared this, and I’ve been consciously aware of every word I’ve spoken. That timeframe was enough to analyze my yelling habits and examine the who, what, when, where, and why behind my outbursts.
The “Who” Behind My Yelling
Let’s start with the “who.” Who is driving me to yell? At first glance, it might seem like my kids are the culprits. But as I dug deeper, I realized that I have a tendency to play the blame game. No one forced me to raise my voice; I was the one giving up control. That was an eye-opener.
The “What” Triggers My Yelling
Next, I turned my attention to the “what.” What situations prompt my yelling? Typically, it’s anything that disrupts my time or my finances. Like when powdered sugar ends up on the floor, forcing me to waste valuable time cleaning instead of checking social media. “I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” A mess or a broken item, like a lamp or a DVD player, can trigger my frustration. “Do you have any idea how hard I work for that?”
The “When” and “Where” of My Outbursts
These “whats” are closely related to the “when” and “where.” When do I feel that urge to yell? The answer is simple: 1) Getting into the car, 2) During mealtimes, and 3) When I’m on the computer or phone.
The “Why” Behind My Actions
Now, the most crucial part: the “why.” Why do I resort to yelling? Initially, I thought it was because my kids were being insufferable. Turns out, that’s not quite accurate. The truth is that I identified three main reasons for my outbursts.
First, I tend to be lazy. How many times have I yelled for my kids to come downstairs instead of just going up myself? I’ll call out, and when they don’t respond quickly enough, I lose my cool. And then there are moments when the kids are upstairs playing quietly, and I’m too lazy to check on them, only to find out later that water is dripping from the ceiling. Yup, all because I didn’t want to walk upstairs.
The second reason is poor planning. When I haven’t prepped for dinner and it’s already 6 PM, the kids start asking for food, and I snap. “If you’d just leave me alone, I could make dinner!” Then they go upstairs and cause a bathtub overflow.
Finally, I have unreasonable expectations. With five kids under ten, expecting them to quickly buckle into their seats is unrealistic. They need more time and attention, especially when they haven’t had it for a while. When they act out, they’re simply being kids, not misbehaving.
So, what’s wrong with my kids? Nothing at all. The real issues lie with me. But starting today, I’m committed to not yelling at my kids anymore.
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Summary
After realizing that yelling stemmed from my own laziness, poor planning, and unrealistic expectations, I’ve decided to take control of my actions. Instead of blaming my kids, I’m committed to a more mindful approach to parenting and fostering a peaceful home environment.
Keyphrase: stop yelling at kids
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