The comments section of Melissa Wright’s 2008 article “Settle Down! The Argument for Accepting Mr. Good Enough” in The Journal has been perpetually active, a recurring testament to societal biases and uninformed opinions for the past six years. Like a relentless beast, the discourse often veers into misogyny, with remarks such as “Just admit she’s not interested in men,” quickly followed by rants about how women supposedly overrate themselves.
Take, for instance, the perspective shared by a commenter named Jaxman. “In my experience, many women seem to have exaggerated expectations of men. They often perceive their own value as significantly higher than what’s realistic. Just look at how frequently women label themselves as stunning or gorgeous when they are, at best, average.” Clearly, Jaxman believes he holds the authority to judge a woman’s attractiveness, as if self-worth is a communal agreement rather than an individual perception.
Then there’s poor Sam, who finds himself unlucky in love because the women he’s interested in are “7s or 8s out of 10—not the elusive 9s or 10s.” At 43, he’s searching for a lighter-skinned woman aged 28-40 but blames the ladies for having unrealistic standards. He laments about a past relationship, claiming, “Women have a distorted view of reality; she isn’t the hot blonde she once was and needs to make more compromises if she wants to get married.”
The advice dispensed to Sam spans years, ranging from attending social events to avoid the “uptight” women in his field. “Women in engineering are always trying to outshine me,” he complains, painting a picture of a man too intimidated to connect with capable women.
Another commenter, wishing to remain anonymous, suggests “negging” as a dating strategy: “If you really want to change your future, learn to be a Pickup Artist. Google it!” This advice is certainly something to ponder over a morning coffee.
A man named Rick jumps in, declaring, “WOMEN ARE STUPID!” claiming this newfound insight has improved his dating life, despite a recent breakup attributed to “incompatibility.”
Mixed in are tales from others, like a Sikh man discussing cultural sacrifices in relationships, who finds little camaraderie among the other commenters. “If you truly cared, you would have compromised,” they say, highlighting the lack of support for his situation.
Four years ago, Mary shared a hopeful story: “My 81-year-old mother found love online! Forget the so-called ‘statistics’ of despair.” However, Sam retorts, “For your mom, it’s statistically too late—her life is essentially over.”
Fast forward to Rick, who triumphantly announces he’s found love, only to later disclose that the relationship has ended, leaving him to lament his misfortune.
The contradictory narrative that women are “fat, deceitful, quirky, selfish,” yet somehow still undesirable is almost absurdly comical but undeniably hostile. It’s as if women are scolded regardless of their choices: choose motherhood alone? Selfish. Settle for a partner lacking in passion? Deceptive. Remain single? Bitter and deluded.
In a refreshing turn, a woman named Lisa writes, “I ended things with someone who wanted to marry me because I refuse to settle. I’m 40 and have no regrets. I’d rather live freely than compromise for someone unworthy.” To which Jaxman responds, “Clearly, you think you’re better than everyone else, which is why you’re alone.”
The ongoing struggle between expectations and reality continues, highlighted in the comments—an echo chamber of desires unmet and judgments cast.
For those interested in exploring options for home insemination, this resource provides valuable insights, as does this article that discusses the success rates of various methods. For anyone looking to take the plunge into parenthood, check out this handy kit to help guide your journey.
In summary, the ongoing debate around settling for a partner reveals deep-seated biases and unrealistic expectations on both sides. The discourse continues to evolve, but the underlying themes of judgment and self-worth remain a constant.
Keyphrase: “settling for a partner”
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]