10 Hilarious Steps When Mom Finally Gets a Few Hours to Herself

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Moms quickly learn the value of solitude. When those rare moments of alone time arrive, deciding how to spend them can feel surprisingly overwhelming. Should you tackle chores? Rest? Exercise? Spoiler alert: probably none of the above. Here’s what really happens…

  1. Wave goodbye to your family as they head out the door. A twinge of guilt washes over you, but as you shut the door, you start to feel a little lighter. You take a deep breath, but then you look around the house and see the toys strewn everywhere, dirty dishes still in the sink, and laundry waiting to be done.

  2. A shower? Nope! That would be a waste of precious solitude. A nap? Can’t afford to miss any of this time! Laundry it is: “I’ll toss a load in and then reward myself with a few minutes on my laptop.”

  3. But first, you decide to relish the luxury of using the bathroom all by yourself—door wide open, of course.

  4. While starting the laundry, you notice your well-worn workout clothes and consider putting in an exercise DVD or going for a jog. But really, you can’t waste this golden hour on working out, right?

  5. Your stomach growls, prompting you to shuffle into the kitchen, where you find yourself staring into the fridge. “A slice of leftover birthday cake sounds delightful alongside my cold coffee,” you conclude.

  6. Finally, you sit down to check your e-mail and maybe pay some bills. You open your laptop, but 25 minutes later, you realize you’ve been mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and Pinterest, eyeing recipes you will never make. Ugh!

  7. You find yourself wandering the house aimlessly until you land in the bathroom, plucking stray gray hairs from your roots as if that’s going to solve all your problems.

  8. You pick up the phone to tell your sister about your rare alone time, but then panic sets in when you realize each minute counts. Your heart races as you consider all the things you could be doing instead.

  9. “I need to be productive!” you think, glancing at the crumbs on the kitchen counter. You grab a spray bottle and start cleaning, feeling a sense of accomplishment return.

  10. Looking at the clock, you ponder, “I’ve earned some relaxation, haven’t I?” Grabbing an old magazine that’s been sitting on the coffee table for months, you flop onto the couch. You finally take a deep breath and open the magazine, but just two minutes in, the door swings open. “Mom, we’re back!”

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In summary, those fleeting moments of alone time can often slip away in a whirlwind of distractions, leaving you wondering where the time went. Embrace the chaos, and remember to enjoy the small things, like that cake and a few quiet minutes before the family returns.

Keyphrase: “mom alone time”

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