Congratulations! If you’ve ever found yourself scrubbing baby poop off the walls or munching on leftover snacks from your bra, you’ve officially entered the wild world of parenting. The moment you leave the hospital with your newborn, you might wish there was a giant red sticker on your discharge papers saying: “Caution: steep learning curve ahead!” No matter how prepared you think you are—thanks to parenting books or your experience with younger siblings—nothing quite prepares you for the joy and chaos that comes with caring for your little one.
One of my most memorable moments after my first daughter, Lily, was born occurred when the nurse informed us we could head home. My partner, Jake, and I exchanged bewildered glances. “You mean we can just leave with her?” Jake asked, clearly in disbelief. “Well, you can’t just stay here!” the nurse replied somewhat curtly. As we fumbled with the car seat, I leaned over and whispered, “It feels like there should at least be a test we need to pass first.” Jake nodded in agreement as he secured the straps, and I joked, “I had to pass a produce test to work as a cashier in college; this is way more complicated than knowing how to pick a ripe avocado!”
The fact that I could liken a newborn to a slightly bruised piece of fruit—and do so without cracking a smile—was a clear sign that I was getting used to the bizarre realities of being a new parent. You’ll find yourself doing things you never imagined—like shouting phrases you swore you’d never say in public, wearing outfits you previously deemed unacceptable, and finding humor in situations that normally wouldn’t warrant a chuckle.
Here are ten hilarious signs that you’re definitely embracing your new parenting role:
- You Speak in Baby: You’ve developed a slightly embarrassing tendency to talk to your baby in a high-pitched voice, even when you’re alone. You might even find yourself using silly nicknames when discussing your child with other adults.
- You’ve Experienced Extreme Sleep Deprivation: You’ve heard of sleepwalking, but have you tried sleep-parenting? Those late-night feedings and diaper changes can turn you into a zombie.
- You’ve Mastered the Art of Multi-Tasking: Whether it’s changing a diaper while on a work call or soothing a fussy baby with one hand while making dinner with the other, your skills have reached new heights.
- You Can Identify Every Baby Cry: You’re now fluent in the language of baby cries. You can differentiate between a hungry wail and a tired whimper like a pro.
- Your Wardrobe Has Changed: Your closet is now filled with comfortable clothes that can withstand spit-up, drool, and the occasional explosion of baby food.
- You’ve Lost All Shame: You’ve yelled out things like “No, don’t eat that!” in public, and you don’t even flinch when a stranger raises an eyebrow.
- You’re Obsessed with Baby Gear: You’ve become a connoisseur of baby products—researching and comparing items like it’s a full-time job. If you’re looking for a reliable method for at-home insemination, check out Make A Mom for information on the only reusable options available.
- You’ve Found Humor in the Mundane: You laugh at things that you once found gross or weird. For instance, the moment when you realize your baby has managed to spit up all over you—and you can’t help but giggle.
- You’re Now a Walking Zombie: You’ve embraced your new identity as a “walking zombie,” fueled by caffeine and love.
- You’ve Joined the Parent Club: You’ve discovered a whole new community of parents who share your crazy experiences, whether through social media or local parenting groups, such as the free Make A Mom Facebook group.
Embracing these signs is all part of the journey. If you’re interested in learning more about fertility and insemination methods, check out this informative podcast from Cleveland Clinic that covers IVF and fertility preservation. And for even more parenting tips and tricks, visit Modern Family Blog for a treasure trove of resources.
In summary, becoming a parent is a whirlwind of new experiences, laughter, and a fair share of chaos. Each sign you exhibit is a badge of honor in this parenting journey that will leave you with stories for years to come.