When it comes to adult behavior at children’s sports events, there’s a singular principle to follow: Don’t be a jerk. As we dive into another riveting Little League season, it’s evident that some individuals are either unaware of this guiding principle or simply need a refresher. To help clarify, here’s a handy quiz to assess your sportsmanship at the games.
- A 7-year-old from the opposing team is at bat and strikes out. You throw your hands in the air and shout “YES!” Are you the creator of the pitching machine? Do you have stock in its production company? If not, you’re a jerk.
- Your team’s shortstop just fumbled the ball. Did you yell “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, SAM?” at 6-year-old Sam? If so, congratulations, you’re a jerk. (And if Sam is 12, you’re still a jerk.)
- Your 9-year-old laughs when the rival team’s goalie gets hit in the face. Guess what? You’re a jerk. If your child is displaying this behavior, it’s likely they picked it up from you. The world has enough jerks; let’s not create more.
- An 8-year-old from the opposing team is up to bat, and you’re nearby. Are you deliberately making a distraction to throw him off his game? (“Look! The ice cream truck!”) If your answer is yes, you’re a jerk.
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On your ride home from your 10-year-old’s game, did you say any of the following?
- “What was going through your head on that last play?”
- “Tom needs to quit baseball; he’s dragging the team down.”
- “That referee was blind; you were totally safe.”
If so, congratulations, you’re a jerk.
- Your daughter’s best friend hits a grand slam while on the opposing team. Did you congratulate her as she crosses home plate? If not, you’re a jerk.
- During your son’s 7-year-old lacrosse game, are you pacing the sidelines as if waiting for important medical news? If yes, you’re a jerk.
- If your child’s coach instructs her to “throw it to second!” and you yell “Throw it home!”—you guessed it, you’re a jerk.
- A 7-year-old second baseman falls while trying to catch a ball. Are you arguing with the umpire about obstruction? If so, you’re a jerk.
- Have you ever shouted “this is about to get wild” during a youth football game? How about “Get a pair of glasses!” directed at the referee? If you answered yes, you’re a jerk.
- Have you ever been ejected from a game or barred from coaching in a league? If so, you’re a jerk.
Let’s face it, folks: if you can’t keep your jerk-like behavior in check, just stay home. It’s just a game, and these are kids. Life is too short for this nonsense.
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In summary, remember that youth sports should be about fun, growth, and learning. Keep the competition healthy and respectful.