I’ve come across numerous articles in mainstream parenting magazines that imply nearly everything you say to your children is wrong. It frustrates me when these publications make parents feel guilty for expressing normal sentiments. Here’s a humorous take on some of the absurd phrases that conventional parenting advice suggests you avoid, along with my own insights on them.
1. “Great Job!”
It’s common to praise your child with phrases like “Good girl” or “Way to go.” However, experts argue that this can create a reliance on external validation instead of fostering intrinsic motivation. They suggest using more specific praise, like “I loved how you assisted your teammate.” Sure, because I can totally remember to invent intricate compliments for every mundane achievement, like “Wow, you really managed to wipe yourself effectively.” Yeah, no thanks. In the chaos of parenting, a simple “Great job” is often all I can muster while juggling a baby and a toddler.
2. “Practice Makes Perfect.”
While practice is essential for improvement, this phrase can unintentionally heighten pressure. Instead, focus on encouraging hard work and pride in progress. Let’s not pretend that kids won’t understand clichés. If I tell my kid that practice makes perfect, I’m sure he’ll think he’ll be the next Olympic gold medalist. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to remind him to put his underwear on before his pants.
3. “You’re Okay.”
If your child scrapes their knee, rushing to reassure them with “You’re fine” could diminish their feelings. Acknowledging their emotions, like saying “That was a tough fall,” is often preferred. Honestly, kids trip and fall about 347 times a day. Telling them they’re okay is just a way of saying I understand they’re upset, and yes, they did bump their toe—but they will survive.
4. “Hurry Up!”
When your child is taking their time, urging them to hurry can induce more stress. Instead, try a team approach like, “Let’s hurry,” or turn it into a game. Right, because turning breakfast into a race is exactly what I need at 7 a.m. when I have to leave for work. Kids need to learn that sometimes you have to hurry. “Let’s hurry” and “Hurry up” are practically the same thing—let’s just call it a win if I don’t add, “Hurry up or we’re going to be late!”
5. “I’m on a Diet.”
If you’re watching your weight, avoid making this known to your child. Hearing negative comments about weight can affect their body image. Instead, focus on healthy eating habits. I can’t argue with this one—it makes sense.
6. “We Can’t Afford That.”
When your child wants the latest gadget, saying you can’t afford it may create anxiety. Instead, explain that you’re saving for more important things. But let’s be real—saying you can’t afford something is just being honest about your budget. It shows that you are aware of your finances and not just splurging on impulse buys.
7. “Don’t Talk to Strangers.”
This phrase can confuse kids since they might not see a friendly stranger as a threat. Instead, focus on specific scenarios to teach them how to respond. While I get the intent, pressing the idea of being scared or sad can create unnecessary anxiety.
8. “Be Careful.”
Telling your child to be careful can distract them and increase the likelihood of accidents. Instead, stay quiet and support them with your presence. I get that some kids are more sensitive, but let’s face it—life has risks, and sometimes they need to learn by falling.
9. “No Dessert Unless You Finish Your Dinner.”
This kind of ultimatum can make dessert seem like a prize, which could lead to a negative association with mealtime. Instead, frame it positively by saying, “After dinner, we’ll have dessert.” Unless, of course, they don’t eat anything and then I’m dealing with a hungry child at midnight.
10. “Let Me Help.”
While it’s natural to want to assist, jumping in too soon can hinder your child’s independence. Encourage them to problem-solve with guiding questions instead. With three kids, I barely have time to help myself, let alone jump in to assist them. My version of guidance is more along the lines of “You better clean that up before dinner!”
In conclusion, many of the phrases we use in everyday parenting might be deemed inappropriate by experts, but in the reality of busy family life, a bit of flexibility is key. For more on navigating parenting, consider checking out our blog post on at-home insemination kits, which can also provide insights into family planning. Also, for those looking to boost fertility, Make a Mom offers great supplements that can help. If you’re interested in learning more about the process of artificial insemination, you can refer to this Wikipedia resource.
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