November is a month of indulgence — from savoring pumpkin pie to participating in early-morning Black Friday sales. It’s a time for cozy leggings and sweaters, and yes, chuckling at those who go overboard with pumpkin spice everything. But beyond the festivities, November is also National Adoption Month, a time to celebrate the joy of children finding families and the spirit of gratitude. This dual focus resonates deeply with me.
As a parent of two adopted children, and with a family history of adoption that includes my brother and some cousins, I’ve always viewed adoption as a natural way to build a family. However, being an adoptive parent often means fielding an array of intrusive, sometimes downright bizarre questions about the process. While I generally respond with measured politeness, I often wish I could say what’s really on my mind. Here are some playful (yet pointed) answers I’d love to give:
- Can’t you have any children of your own? Actually, that’s a no, as I lack a uterus and my fallopian tubes are toast. Thanks to endometriosis, I’ve had a few key parts removed. Interested in more? I could chat about my reproductive history all day.
- What happened to their real mom? Well, it’s funny you ask! Right now, I’m dealing with two little humans who think it’s appropriate to wake me at 5 AM demanding oatmeal. Those requests seem pretty real to me. So, who exactly should be responding to these early-morning demands? Speaking of reality, are those your genuine eyebrows?
- How much did they cost? They were free! However, the shipping and handling? That was a whole different story. By the way, how much did you shell out for that flashy, gas-guzzling truck?
- Do you know Angelina Jolie? Oh, absolutely! Just yesterday, I told her, “Angie, let’s throw on our best yoga pants, grab some boxed wine, and hit up Sonic for happy hour.” Of course, I rub shoulders with famous folks, and we all enjoy a good cheese dip together.
- Why did you adopt from China instead of your own country? I adopted from my own species, if that helps. And hey, when’s a good time to discuss your shoes made in Indonesia or that Japanese car you drive?
- Now that you’ve adopted, do you think you’ll get pregnant? Oh, fun! We’re still discussing my reproductive system? Just referencing point one.
- Are you planning to tell them they’re adopted? That’ll depend on how sharp they are! They might eventually notice that two Caucasians don’t typically produce Asian children. If they seem particularly clever, we might have “the talk” around their teenage years when angst kicks in.
- You’re a saint for giving those poor children a good home. You bet your boots I am! But now, I must dash; the kids are calling for my beer.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this post on the artificial insemination kit, which could be a helpful resource. For those curious about pregnancy, the NICHD provides excellent information.
In summary, while navigating adoption inquiries can be a challenge, having a sense of humor and a bit of wit can make the experience more bearable.
Keyphrase: Adoption Questions Responses
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