Parenting
I’m Absolutely Exhausted by Emily Carter
Updated: July 20, 2021
Originally Published: Oct. 28, 2014
I’m utterly drained. Last night, I found myself sleeping in my king-sized bed, on the top bunk, in the twin-sized bottom bunk, and even on the floor beside the crib, using a Boppy as my pillow, all between 10 PM and 6:30 AM.
I’m so worn out that my nighttime pacing has left marks on the hardwood floor. Maybe I should invest in a pedometer—who knows, I might burn more calories at night than during the day. In fact, I probably do, what with all the walking and constant nursing.
I’m so tired that even the dog has decided to sleep elsewhere; he requires his beauty rest and clearly, I’m too much of a night owl for him.
I’m so fatigued that I once accidentally poured orange juice into my coffee. Yes, it happened. I also squeezed tinted moisturizer onto my toothbrush instead of my face.
I’ve put my pants on inside out and didn’t realize it until I entered my Pure Barre class, where the other women gave me odd looks. I had to sneak into the bathroom for a quick fix.
I’m so fatigued I’ve searched for my keys in the freezer—because, believe it or not, I’ve found them there before. You’d be surprised how often keys end up with the frozen peas while unloading groceries.
This morning, I drove my kids to school with my home phone stuffed in my purse. I’ve hung up from making appointments only to forget the details right after, too embarrassed to call back.
When my five-year-old completed a Mother’s Day project at school, she listed my favorite thing as sleep and my go-to drink as coffee.
It’s been ages since I slept through the night without interruptions, and I’m convinced it’s been over two years. I’m practically a dairy factory for my nine-month-old. I’ve googled “baby sleep” more than a thousand times in the last nine months.
I get enraged reading comments on parenting forums where anonymous parents brag about their six-week-olds sleeping through the night because they have a “nighttime routine.” Thanks for the tip, but I’ve yet to try one of those.
I can’t help but get annoyed when friends post about their first child sleeping through the night at just a few months old. They have no idea of the turmoil they’re inviting upon themselves—and the struggles of those of us who didn’t give birth to natural sleepers.
I own more than a dozen sleep books at this point. I once thought I may have sideswiped a parked car while three kids screamed in the back of the minivan. I was late, stuck in heavy traffic, and couldn’t pull over. When I circled back five minutes later, the car was gone. I even went to the police station to confess my potential mishap, and the officer told me to head home and take a nap—he was concerned someone might take advantage of me in my state.
With the baby on my hip, I explained to the officer that I drive a minivan and have never bumped into anything until now—my minivan is evidently a menace, and both sides are scratched up from my constant struggles in the garage.
One day, I attempted multiple times to park my minivan next to the curb on an empty street, but it felt impossible. A construction worker watched my failed efforts, and I eventually had to drive around the corner to avoid further embarrassment. After having three kids, I’ve concluded that parking skills are the first thing to go when you’re this exhausted.
Making small talk has become a challenge; I often put my foot in my mouth and leave feeling embarrassed. Just yesterday, my daughter’s teacher complimented her pink Converse, and I mistakenly said, “Oh, her husband is obsessed with shoes.” I meant my husband, of course, who has a penchant for impractical children’s footwear.
I’m so drained that I don’t even crave candy, yet I find myself shoving handfuls of chocolate chips or leftover Halloween candy into my mouth just to get through the afternoon until bedtime.
I fully admit I’ve done this to myself. With three kids under five, the odds that at least one will wake up in the middle of the night are incredibly high—and the chances that more than one will wake up are even higher. If I’m up three times with the baby and twice with the three-year-old, that’s five wake-ups. In conclusion, having three kids feels like a guarantee that sleep will be elusive.
I understand the phrase “bone tired” all too well; I literally ache. I now see why sleep deprivation can be a form of torture.
I’m so tired—I desperately need to sleep train the baby, like, yesterday.
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Summary:
In this candid reflection, the author shares the exhausting realities of parenting young children, detailing the myriad ways fatigue has seeped into her daily life—from sleep-deprived moments to humorous blunders. The narrative highlights the challenges of managing three kids under five, the struggle for sleep, and the emotional rollercoaster of parenting while providing relatable anecdotes that many parents can identify with.
Keyphrase: Parenting exhaustion
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