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Want to Deviate from That Good Habit, Just This Once?
by Clara Mitchell
Updated: Dec. 26, 2015
Originally Published: Oct. 23, 2014
One intriguing question I explore is: How can we allow ourselves an exception to a positive habit without completely derailing it? Occasionally, life presents us with unique opportunities, or we may simply wish to celebrate something special.
A highly effective strategy for navigating this challenge is the concept of the “planned exception.” This approach safeguards against impulsive choices. As adults, we set our own guidelines, and by thoughtfully planning our exceptions in advance, we maintain control over our behavior.
When we consciously decide to make an exception, it empowers us; we’re not breaking our habits on a whim or slipping into one of the many loopholes we create for ourselves at the last minute. This sense of autonomy enhances our overall happiness.
The best exceptions are those that are limited or have a clear endpoint. Just this morning, a colleague shared how he skillfully employed a planned exception to stray from his usual low-carb diet.
Many individuals fall into the trap of thinking, “I’m on vacation; I deserve to indulge. I can’t resist these desserts; life is too short!” In doing so, they abandon their healthy eating habits entirely. My colleague, however, sought to treat himself while keeping it in check.
“When I vacationed in a cabin in Montana, I dined at a local restaurant known for its pies,” he recounted. “People traveled from far and wide to try these pies. Before I left New York City, I established my pie policy.”
So, what was his pie policy?
- “If I’m in Montana, I’ll eat this way.” Utilizing “if-then” planning proved effective; by pre-determining his actions, he simplified decision-making later. An exception applicable only in Montana is inherently self-limiting. He relished pie, but he wasn’t going to journey to Montana solely for a slice.
- “I get one slice with every meal, but only one slice.” Indeed, he enjoyed pie at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but adhered strictly to one slice. Bright-line rules—clear standards that eliminate ambiguity—are invaluable.
- “I didn’t bring any pie back to the cabin; it was a restaurant-only treat.” In past years, he’d occasionally skip dessert at a meal, then take home multiple pies to indulge throughout the day. This mindless eating undermines self-monitoring, which is crucial. One slice per meal equals simple math. The Strategy of Monitoring is vital; we perform better when we keep track of our choices.
- “I broke my low-carb rule for pie—but that’s it.” After a few days, he found himself thinking, “Ice cream would be a delightful addition; there’s an amazing spot nearby.” Knowing himself, he recognized that allowing ice cream would lead to a slippery slope of indulging in bread and pasta. So he stuck to his pie policy.
- “I knew my vacation would be more enjoyable with pie.” It’s essential not to let ourselves feel deprived when maintaining good habits. Feelings of deprivation can lead to justifying unhealthy treats with thoughts like “I deserve this.” By figuring out how to indulge without feeling deprived, my colleague avoided falling into that trap. He treated himself in a mindful way, truly savoring the special moments of his vacation.
It’s worth noting that my colleague identifies as an Abstainer, and this method suited him well. Many Abstainers find success when they stick to abstaining rather than attempting moderation, though they may indulge occasionally.
In contrast, I consider myself a complete Abstainer. You’d be surprised by what I’m currently abstaining from these days. (For clues, check out some of my other posts.) Interestingly, I’ve realized that I’m quite an extreme personality, a discovery that surprised no one but me.
A key insight about habits is this: Sometimes, to maintain our momentum, we have to allow ourselves to pause.
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Summary:
This article discusses the concept of planned exceptions to healthy habits, illustrated through a colleague’s approach to indulging in pie while on vacation. By setting clear guidelines, individuals can enjoy special treats without sacrificing their overall goals. The importance of self-monitoring and maintaining control over habits is emphasized, along with the acknowledgment that some people may succeed better with strict abstinence rather than moderation.
Keyphrase: Planned exceptions to habits
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