Welcome to the “Mom Collective,” a sanctuary for everyday moms like us who are tired of the relentless competition and judgment from those outside our circle. Before you join our ranks, make sure you familiarize yourself with these essential commandments:
- No Prepping for Guests. Don’t bother tidying up before your fellow moms drop by. If your home looks like a magazine spread, you’re out. And if you expect us to tidy up before your visit, well, you can exit too.
- Refer to Them as “Conferences.” When arranging get-togethers for lunch, coffee, or wine, don’t call it that. Instead, announce you’re attending a critical conference. If you can’t keep a straight face about it, then this club isn’t for you.
- Support, Don’t Critique. Regardless of what another mom says about her own child, resist the urge to join in. She can voice her frustrations, but you can’t. Instead, be supportive, nod along, and pass the wine.
- Keep Non-Holiday Celebrations to a Minimum. Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and other “made-up” holidays? They deserve a low-key acknowledgment. Perhaps an adult beverage in their honor? But please, no elaborate decorations or themed crafts. And definitely no gifts from mythical creatures; that’s just complicating things for the rest of us!
- Avoid Overcommitting. Pitch in where you can, but don’t become the mom who takes on everything. It breeds resentment among peers and cuts into our precious “conference” time.
- Invest in Yourself. Don’t call it a spa day or shopping trip. Instead, frame it as a personal development day. This way, outsiders won’t misunderstand your vital self-care.
- Give a Heads-Up. If you’ve had “the talk” with your kids, spilled the beans about Santa, or decided to buy your tween a phone, share the news. It helps us all prepare our kids (and ourselves) for those inevitable conversations.
- Don’t Drag Us into Your Obligations. Sure, we’re here to help with babysitting once in a while, but don’t expect us to attend every performance or event for your child. Your responsibilities are heavy enough without dragging us into them.
- No Judgment, No Unsolicited Advice. Whether you have strong opinions on feeding methods, sleeping arrangements, or parenting styles, keep them to yourself. We’re all just trying to navigate this challenging journey. Unless someone specifically asks for your insight, zip it.
- Protect Your Fellow Moms’ Reputations. If you excel at home-cooked meals, regular cleaning, or other domestic skills, keep that info under wraps around our spouses. Honestly, no one needs that kind of pressure!
Think you can handle the challenge? The initiation is tough, and the temptation to break the rules is real. We’re eager to welcome you!
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Summary
The “Mom Collective” is a supportive community for mothers who wish to escape the judgment and competition of parenting. It offers ten essential rules that promote camaraderie, self-care, and understanding among moms. By following these guidelines, you can enjoy genuine connections without the pressure of perfection.
Keyphrase: Mom Collective Rules
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