My HIV-positive child is playing alongside yours, and you may not even realize it. She has shared laughter with your little one at a local preschool, splashed in the pool during swim lessons, and stood behind your kid in gymnastics class. The legal protections surrounding her HIV status mean we don’t have to disclose her condition to anyone—schools, camps, or even other parents—except for medical professionals.
Due to the long-standing stigma and misunderstanding surrounding HIV, advocates have fought diligently for the right to keep such information private. Our adoption social worker advised us, “Keep this to yourself. There is so much ignorance out there. Your child’s appearance as a Chinese adoptee will already draw attention. Do you really want to add another reason for people to judge her?”
This year, in kindergarten, my daughter excitedly attempted to share her story with your child. “Emma, guess what? I have a dragon in my blood. I was born with it, and my birth mother had it too. When I take my medicine, the dragon stays asleep.” Unfortunately, Emma and a few others didn’t believe her. One even chimed in, “I was born in China, and I have a dragon too!” It seems he wanted to feel included. I gently explained to her that they just didn’t understand yet.
So why don’t I have to inform schools, churches, or daycare providers? Because HIV transmission has never occurred in these settings. Thanks to modern medications, the virus is rendered inactive. Every four months, my child undergoes blood tests, and the results consistently show no detectable virus in her system. She is vibrant, joyful, and full of life. I bandage her scrapes, wipe her nose, share food, water, and kisses, and handle all the usual childhood messes—without any fear of contracting HIV.
Let’s be clear: she was simply born with this condition. If her birth mother had access to life-saving antiretroviral medications during pregnancy, my daughter could be HIV-free today. In fact, many HIV-positive individuals in China are not on treatment, as admitting their status often leads to ostracism and rejection from loved ones.
It’s entirely possible that one day, my daughter will date your son, marry, and have children who are HIV-negative. Fellow moms, I urge you to understand that there’s no need to fear HIV. I encourage you to educate yourselves—Google it, consult with your pediatrician, and seek out reliable resources like this excellent article on pregnancy and home insemination from Healthline. Learn the facts for yourselves. You don’t have to take my word for it. Just know that my HIV-positive child is playing with yours, and that’s perfectly fine.
Ignorance and stigma are far scarier than HIV itself.
This article was originally published on Oct. 19, 2014.
For more insightful content, you might enjoy checking out our post on at-home intracervical insemination kits for those considering family planning.
Keyphrase: HIV-positive child
Tags: home insemination kit, home insemination syringe, self insemination