A few weeks back, I finally treated myself to a bath—a real one, complete with bubbles and all. It’s a rare indulgence for me, typically happening every seven or eight months. Despite the lack of relaxation, I persist in trying it every so often. I stopped locking the door long ago; I’d rather have unexpected guests than endure the chaos of kids screaming at each other from behind a closed door.
“Mom, are you almost done? What are you doing? I was here first! Stop hitting me! Mom, he just hit me! I need to go potty RIGHT NOW!”
We have four bathrooms in our house—four! Still, I find it more tolerable to leave the door unlocked and hope for some peace (heavy sigh).
I was treated to approximately six glorious minutes of solitude before the first uninvited guest barged in. She plopped down on the toilet lid as if it were the comfiest seat imaginable.
“Why are you taking a bath, Mom? You never take baths.”
Before I could respond, the second uninvited guest bounced in, full of enthusiasm. “Mommy! You’re taking a bath! Can I watch?”
“No, and aren’t you supposed to be doing your homework?”
“Oh yeah, I’ll go get it.”
“Okay. Wait. What?”
Moments later, she returned, homework in tow, and settled beside the tub with pencil and lap desk. Really?
“I need help with my homework, Mommy.”
Uninvited Guest #1 chimed in, “Mom is trying to take a bath! Right, Mom?”
“Yes, indeed, my thoughtful child,” I replied, while the first guest on the toilet pointed out, “Mom, I can see your…” and gestured toward my chest area. “Maybe you should cover up with a washcloth or something?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable? You see, in most cultures, it’s customary to remove one’s clothing before entering a lovely, warm bath. Just a little life lesson for you.”
And then, in came Uninvited Guest #3. Now it was officially a party.
“MOMMY! Why are you taking a bath? Can I come in?”
“No, Buddy. Go find your Dad (seriously, where is he?!).”
“Otay Mommy, be right back.”
“Perfect.”
UG#2 piped up, “Mommy, do you like taking a bath?”
“Sometimes more than others.”
UG#1 exclaimed, “Mom, the bubbles are disappearing. Are you sure you don’t want a washcloth or something, you know, to…” (more chest pointing).
“Nope, I’m good. Thank you for your concern. Here’s a thought: get out.”
UG#3 burst in like a race car at full speed, sporting nothing but a huge grin.
“BUDDY, YOU ARE NOT COMING IN…” (sigh) “Hi Buddy.”
“I yike takin a bath with you, Mommy.”
“Just give me the washcloth already.”
And that, in a nutshell, is what “me time” looks like as a mother. For more insights on similar experiences, check out our post on couples’ fertility journey for intracervical insemination at Make a Mom. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, you can find a great resource at Wikipedia on in vitro fertilisation. And for those considering self insemination, the Cryobaby home intracervical insemination syringe kit combo is a must-see.
In summary, the quest for a peaceful bath often turns into a chaotic family affair. But amidst the madness, there are always moments that remind us of the joy and humor of parenting.
Keyphrase: “A Mother’s Bath Time Chaos”
Tags: home insemination kit, home insemination syringe, self insemination