I was determined to have a natural childbirth. We enrolled in hypnobirthing classes, consulted midwives, and I even binge-watched all the recommended documentaries. I was adamant: no early cord cutting, no pitocin, no epidural—absolutely no painkillers! I was ready to embrace this challenge.
Then, my baby decided to make things complicated. He pooped in the womb, went into distress, and his heart rate plummeted—like a drama straight out of a movie. As a result, I found myself in the operating room for an emergency C-section. I know many women have C-sections, and some even choose them, but I was utterly unprepared for the emotional fallout. The reality of recovering from major surgery hit me hard, and it was a far cry from the perfect birth I had envisioned. I was taken aback by my feelings after my son was born.
A few days post-birth, the obligatory flood of congratulations began. Friends without kids offered generic responses, like “Congratulations!” or “Great job, Mom!” However, the responses from my friends who were parents were somewhat different:
- “Did you ever think you could love something so much?”
- “You won’t believe how this love will just keep growing!”
- “Welcome to the most incredible journey of your life!”
I was baffled. Why didn’t I feel that way? Was something wrong with me? After years of trying to conceive, was I really lacking in maternal instinct? When I looked into my son’s eyes, I saw a tiny being who seemed indifferent to me, someone I couldn’t quite satisfy, and who I was now responsible for making happy for years to come. And to top it off, he was wreaking havoc on my body. I broke down in tears—crying became my daily routine. This was not how I imagined it. I had always dreamed of being a mother; why wasn’t I elated?
Weeks later, the emotional fog began to lift, and the constant tears subsided as I climbed out of my depression. When I shared my experience with other mothers, many confessed to feeling the same way after childbirth. My first thought was, “Why didn’t anyone warn me?” I had no idea that not every woman immediately experiences bliss after giving birth. The overwhelming feelings of responsibility and confusion are normal—what a revelation!
There seems to be a narrow narrative surrounding new moms: either you’re a radiant maternal goddess who can magically transform a Moby Wrap into an origami swan, or you’re a danger to yourself and your child. But there’s a vast range of emotions in between. Expecting mothers should be informed about these complexities! Sure, pregnant women can be sensitive and hormonal, but guess what? New moms are often just as vulnerable, if not more so. They now have a little human relying on them for everything. A little honesty about what lies ahead would go a long way in supporting them.
For those about to embark on this journey: Go see a movie. I haven’t set foot in a theater since my son arrived. Enjoy dinners out with your partner. And sleep—lots of it, if you can manage! Start using nipple cream now because, trust me, after just 24 hours of nursing, your breasts will need it. Get pampered with a pedicure, a manicure, or a haircut. And yes, enjoy intimacy while you can, because that might be on hold for a while. If you have a pre-pregnancy picture of your belly, cherish it—because you’ll soon have an extra flap of skin that’ll leave you wondering what to do with it. It’s a lot to take in!
It’s crucial to communicate that being a new mom is both terrifying and isolating, yet also incredibly rewarding. It can be confusing, but it’s worth it. If you’re a new mom reading this, be gentle with yourself. You’ve created a human being! That’s an amazing accomplishment. Congratulations! Prepare for a love that will only deepen as time goes on.
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Summary:
The experience of becoming a new mom can be a mix of joy, confusion, and overwhelming responsibility. While many expectant mothers are not prepared for the emotional rollercoaster that comes with childbirth, it’s essential to acknowledge that feeling overwhelmed is entirely normal. New mothers should be informed about the complexities of this journey to foster understanding and support.
Keyphrase: New mom experience
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