Upon arriving at the studio—albeit a bit late—I recounted a troubling experience, only to be met with skepticism from some colleagues. “Are you sure?” and “Maybe it was just a misunderstanding?” were common replies. Their disbelief echoed the dismissals many women and people of color face daily, where experiences are often minimized with comments like:
- “You’re being dramatic.”
- “Just toughen up.”
- “Maybe if you hadn’t…”
- “Consider it a compliment.”
- “I had a similar situation, but I didn’t complain.”
I was overjoyed to recently hear Anita Green, a media figure I admire, emphasize how simple yet radical it is to change this narrative. During her talk at the XOXO Fest in Portland, she articulated the importance of believing women when they share their truths. She stated, “One of the most radical things you can do is to actually believe women when they talk about their experiences.”
Imagine the impact of just believing someone when they recount their story. We often readily accept positive narratives but hesitate with uncomfortable ones. For instance, I once dated someone who dismissed a news story about a woman’s harassment case, saying, “Women often fabricate these things.” This attitude exemplifies how we’re often faced with disbelief, regardless of the severity of our experiences—whether it’s a traffic stop or a more serious matter.
The power we possess as women, minorities, and just rational individuals is significant. Our voices can create a chorus strong enough to drive change. So, for those sitting on the sidelines, remember the incredible power you have every day: the power to believe. Please use it.
My daily commute across the George Washington Bridge through Washington Heights offers a stark contrast. In 2008, I noticed three vehicles stopped as I exited the Palisades. A police car was in front of a van with a Latino driver to my right, while a sedan with another brown man and a woman sat to my left. After allowing a car driven by a white man to pass, the officer made eye contact with me and gestured to pull over.
“Where are you from?” he demanded, his hands resting on my open window.
I replied, “Uh, from Manhattan.” Trying to sound authoritative, I added, “Actually, I’m the host of a show on CNBC. Can I show you my ID?”
He nodded, and as I retrieved my company ID, he returned it without a word of explanation and waved me off. I drove away, trembling with anger and frustration. I felt ensnared in an undocumented labor sweep. Was it legal? I couldn’t say. But worrying about the people left behind was painfully present. And yes, it would’ve been easier to bear if my colleagues had believed my story.
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In summary, believing women and acknowledging their experiences is crucial in fostering understanding and change. By standing together and amplifying our voices, we can challenge the dismissive narratives that often silence us.
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