Updated: Aug. 21, 2015
Originally Published: Sep. 17, 2014
As a parent, I find myself slipping into a few fibs that, while not entirely true, work wonders on my kids. Their young minds are so impressionable, they take my words at face value. Oh, how I cherish this phase! If only they could stay this age forever.
Here are twelve tall tales I tell my little ones… and they totally buy them:
- “I’m not repeating myself!” This is a classic line. I know I’ll probably say it again, but somehow I think it carries weight. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
- “Alright, we’re heading to the doctor because your hearing seems a bit off.” This one works like a charm! Eventually, they confess they heard me perfectly well but were just choosing to ignore me. Gotcha!
- “If you keep chewing on your hair, you might sprout a hair tree in your stomach.” Sometimes this one does the trick, but I did feel a little guilty when my daughter complained of a tummy ache, saying, “Mom, I think my hair tree is growing.”
- “That’s it! No Cape Cod trip for us!” Yeah, right. I’m totally going to cancel a long-awaited vacation just because they refuse to put on their pants.
- “Fine, I’ll just call a babysitter, and you can stay home while the rest of us go out!” Because I definitely have babysitters on speed dial, ready to swoop in at a moment’s notice. Ha!
- “Don’t eat your dinner? Starve for all I care.” Sometimes reverse psychology works wonders, though if I’m honest, by dinner time, I’m kinda over it anyway.
- “Cut back on the paper towels, or the paper towel police will show up!” This one backfired when my child asked, “Mom, is there really a paper towel police?” Busted!
- “Wow, that’s a fantastic drawing!” Let’s be real—it’s not. I could create a masterpiece, and I’m no Picasso.
- “Oops! Looks like McDonald’s is closed today.” This trick never fails, and it keeps the peace. Win-win!
- “Fine. Don’t go to school.” This is another reverse psychology move that seems to keep them eager to learn. How long will this last?
- “Oh no, I completely forgot my wallet.” This excuse is my go-to when the ice cream truck rolls by. Why do they always show up at the park?!
- “You can play on the iPad for just 15 minutes.” Little do they know, that 15 minutes turns into an hour while I tackle dinner, laundry, and emails. Who knew quiet time could be so productive?
For more tongue-in-cheek parenting insights, check out our post on the importance of a good home insemination kit or explore other resources like this guide on IVF for additional parenting tips.
In summary, these little fibs I share with my kids help me navigate parenting with a bit of humor and creativity. After all, who doesn’t enjoy a little fun while raising little ones?
Keyphrase: parenting lies
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]