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The Guidelines of Toddler Society

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ModernFamilyBlog
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Updated: March 19, 2015

Originally Published: August 1, 2014

Welcome to Toddler Society, where the rules are strict, and we’re not part of the club.

Rules of Toddler Society

  1. 1st Rule of Toddler Society – No discussions about Toddler Society.
  2. 2nd Rule of Toddler Society – Absolutely do not mention Toddler Society.
  3. 3rd Rule of Toddler Society – Complain when it’s time for a bath. Once you’re in, protest leaving.
  4. 4th Rule of Toddler Society – The answer to any question is a resounding no. The only exception? “Would you like a treat?”
  5. 5th Rule of Toddler Society – Bedtime is a myth. Ask endless questions. Request water. Claim you need to use the bathroom. Insist on a tissue. Demand a story. Ask for a new pillow. New pajamas. A back rub. Just never, ever go to sleep.
  6. 6th Rule of Toddler Society – If a younger sibling is crying, up your volume to ensure chaos ensues.
  7. 7th Rule of Toddler Society – When pasta is served, demand pizza. If pizza is granted, immediately switch back to pasta.
  8. 8th Rule of Toddler Society – Under no circumstances should you put on clothing after being asked only once.
  9. 9th Rule of Toddler Society – Dinner is breakfast, and breakfast is dinner. Don’t be fooled by the labels.
  10. 10th Rule of Toddler Society – If Mom says no, go for Dad. If Dad says no, insist that Dad actually said yes.
  11. 11th Rule of Toddler Society – Don’t worry about getting all your food in your mouth. Your clothes are just as hungry!
  12. 12th Rule of Toddler Society – Avoid anything with a crust. Rinds are definitely not your friends.

In solidarity,
Toddler Management

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In summary, the whimsical yet chaotic rules of Toddler Society remind us of the often humorous challenges of parenting toddlers. With their playful defiance and endless requests, navigating this stage can feel like a full-time job, but it’s also filled with love and laughter.

Keyphrase: Toddler Club Rules

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