It happened again. While enjoying dinner with my children, I spotted my daughter’s hand wandering under her skirt. “We don’t play with our vulvas at the table. Please go wash your hands and eat your food,” I instructed. She nodded and hurried off, returning shortly to pick at her meal.
Young children are naturally curious about their bodies. They explore without any sense of shame or embarrassment; a body is simply a body, and everything it does is marvelously intriguing. At this age, it’s purely innocent—there’s no sexual context involved, just a genuine curiosity.
When I first noticed one of my kids engaging with their genitals, I found myself frozen with uncertainty. I didn’t want to yell “No!” or “Stop!” What would that achieve? Yes, it would spare me the awkwardness of confronting the situation, but would it teach them to fear or ignore their own bodies?
After giving it some thought, I decided to address it directly. “Honey, we don’t play with our vulvas in the living room,” I said. It felt a bit silly, but it was necessary. I explained, “It’s perfectly fine to touch your vulva, but it’s a private matter. The bathroom or your bedroom are the appropriate places for that.” She smiled and complied without hesitation, as children often understand the concept of designated spaces for different activities.
Thus, our mantra evolved: “We don’t eat in the bathroom, and we don’t play with our vulvas in the living room.” Eventually, it became “We don’t touch our vulvas at the table.”
As a parent who embraces a sex-positive approach, I don’t shy away from discussing the reality of sexuality. I aim to avoid the typical parental lies about the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, especially when it comes to sex. I want my children to grow up comfortable in their own skin and knowledgeable about their bodies.
We’ve read books like Where Did I Come From? and What Makes A Baby, which cover essential topics of reproduction openly and honestly. We can discuss various birth methods, including IVF and C-sections, as they relate to their own stories. And yes, we can talk about how mommy and daddy still have sex, regardless of our plans for conception. When they’re older, we’ll delve into contraception as well.
Misleading children about sex does them a disservice. Saying sex is only for “mommies and daddies” or that it’s something that happens when two people “love each other very much” creates confusion as they grow. It can lead to dangerous misconceptions about love and sex, causing them to make regrettable choices.
The truth is that human beings generally enjoy sex; it’s meant to feel good. However, it’s important to convey that just because something feels good doesn’t mean it should happen without forethought.
This is what sex-positive parenting is about—being truthful with kids and allowing them to make informed decisions. It’s about teaching them that sex can be pleasurable but also comes with responsibilities. They should know to protect themselves and understand their own desires.
In discussing sex education, many believe that instilling a fear of sex will deter kids from engaging in it. However, studies show that abstinence-only education often leads to higher teen pregnancy rates. Providing honest information about sex doesn’t equate to giving permission; ultimately, the choice is theirs to make.
I always emphasize that they are the ones in control of their bodies. I won’t dictate their choices, but I will ensure they understand the importance of consent and safety.
I teach them about boundaries and appropriate behavior—like not touching their bodies in public settings. When we engage in playful activities, I respect their wishes if they say, “Stop!”
As they grow, we will tackle more complex issues—like consent, healthy relationships, and realistic expectations about body image and sexuality. These conversations may not be as brief or simple, but I feel prepared.
When the time comes to discuss topics like “we don’t have sex without thinking carefully about it first,” I want them to know I’m on their team. They can trust that I’ll support them, even if they make mistakes.
This foundational lesson—“We don’t touch our vulvas at the table”—is a small yet significant step in teaching them about safety, consent, and social expectations.
If you’re interested in learning more about at-home insemination techniques, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. You might also find useful information on how to use an artificial insemination kit or explore this blog post for further insights.
In summary, fostering open conversations about bodies and their functions can empower children to make informed choices as they grow, and it’s crucial to be their ally in navigating these significant topics.
Keyphrase: sex-positive parenting
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]