Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That: A Mom’s Reality Check

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Remember when Sweet Brown took the world by storm with her iconic line, “Ain’t nobody got time for that”? As a busy mom, that phrase runs through my mind daily amidst the chaos of parenting. Here’s a light-hearted look at 30 things that no mom has time for:

  1. Singing “Happy Birthday” twice while washing hands. By the time I hit the second line, my kid’s already halfway to the toy aisle at Target.
  2. Shopping trips. Forget leisurely browsing; it’s all about Amazon.com now.
  3. 90-minute Bikram yoga sessions? No thanks, I’ll pass.
  4. Blow-drying the back of my hair. Honestly, who even sees back there?
  5. Clipping my kids’ nails. Until they come out with a scratch on their face, that task is on hold.
  6. Massages? If only I could find the time.
  7. Costco on a holiday? Absolutely not.
  8. Oil changes. If the light’s not on, I’m ignoring it.
  9. Getting socks on little ones. Is there anything more time-consuming?
  10. Speeding tickets. Well, we were in a hurry for a reason!
  11. Trying on clothes? See point number two about shopping.
  12. Small talk at school events. If you don’t have a point, just skip it.
  13. Getting sick. Moms don’t have the luxury of being ill; ain’t nobody got time for that.
  14. Watching TV while lounging. But folding laundry? That’s multitasking!
  15. Hangovers. Because kids don’t care how you feel.
  16. Drama—before kids, maybe. Now? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
  17. Anything that sounds “gourmet” or involves “from scratch.”
  18. Sewing. Most of us aren’t cut out for that, and there’s always the dry cleaners.
  19. Cleaning the car. Seriously, what’s the point?
  20. Creating photo albums. We’ll snap pics, but organizing them? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
  21. Makeup. Just to take it off later? No thanks.
  22. Waxing. We’ve all had those moments of realization in the mirror.
  23. Teacher conferences about preschool art skills. “Great with crayons” is not exactly Ivy League material.
  24. Marathon training. A three-hour run when I could be sleeping? No way!
  25. Bento boxes. Ain’t nobody got time for cute food compartments.
  26. Jury duty. There should be an option that simply says, “I’m a mom.”
  27. Car trouble. This is like a nightmare come true.
  28. Phone issues? I’d take car trouble any day.
  29. Boo-boos. When they’re little, we fuss; later, it’s just a Band-Aid and back to play.
  30. Sex. Enough said.

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In summary, motherhood is a whirlwind of responsibilities, and time is always at a premium. From trivial tasks that eat up precious minutes to the joys and chaos of parenting, it’s clear that moms are masters of prioritizing what truly matters.

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